Its a Party x2!

November is almost over, can you believe it! One of the best highlights of the month is celebrating Dave's birthday.  Until he has absolutely no awareness I will be having "casual" parties for him. Last year was a big milestone and all of my sister-in-laws came into town to help celebrate. This year was super casual with Dave picking his favorite soup to eat - chicken tortilla soup - he likes spicy as that is most definitely a flavor he can taste! We also had queso & chips, and a veggie tray. We had also picked up cupcakes from his favorite place. It was a kid/grandkid party on Saturday and those who were able and willing were here. It was fun and not too overwhelming for Dave which was the whole purpose of a casual day.

On his exact birthday date we had our usual Home Group to attend and thanks to Ann Kent for making Dave's favorite - coconut cream pie - we had a mini party that night!!

His birthday not only marked another year together but brought along some changes in Dave.  You know there is never a change that is good with Alzheimer's but those changes we will discuss on another post, as of right now I just want to remember the fun we had celebrating and leave you with pictures of all that fun!

coconut cream pic & lemon cake! and lots of candles!

took a couple tries to blow out so many candles!!

Ann Kent & DeGee Brown 

Thanks to our wonderful Home/Care Group for making Dave feel so special! We are so blessed to have these people in our lives! We love them dearly!

I forgot that i also made pigs in a blanket in case Seeley wasn't interested in soup.

 

becee, dave, gabriella & stephanie

seeley watching a movie!

this was dave's second attempt-the first time seeley blew out the candle. guess pawpaw was taking too long!

 

seely waiting for pawpaw to blow out the candle and eat a cupcake!

Although I requested no presents (Dave just wanted to have the kids over) Linda (my sister) sent down a gift - a nice warm robe!! This is great since our house is so cold - we have a floor furnace and the only truly heated and warm room is the living room, the rest of the rooms are COLD, especially the bathroom. This will keep him warm for sure!

Stephanie remembers how cold it is in the house and gave Dave warm flannel pajamas and some warm wool socks.

                  Hugs! Dave is a little awkward with those on some days, but he still enjoys them!

 

 

 

It was a fun day! I am so thankful for the kids coming and making Dave feel loved and celebrated!

Monica

A season of changes.

I love this time of year! Don't you? For me this time of year is so magical, to see all the different colors those green leaves turn into, wow! The air is crisp and sometimes damp leaving you with a desire to bundle up in a warm sweater go for a walk and be in awe of the changes in nature. Its not just the trees and plants that change but you can even see the animals change, thicker coats, bushier tales etc. 

This is Dave's most favorite time of  year also. We would go for walks and drives just to see the beautiful new colors. That is why we picked October for our wedding. Funny how that worked out, fall is a change of seasons in nature and it was a new season in our lives together.

Fall has seemed to mark lots of changes lately. The loss of my father, and the changes we saw in Dave, and the start of the end of Gabriella's season as a "kid" before graduation.  Fall marks a change in time too, the setting of our time back by one hour. Something so minor can reek havoc in someone with Alzheimer's.  At this time of year most people are making changes in their schedules especially if you have kids. There are school activities, church activities etc.  I really miss some of those changes and wished those simple times were back. 

So I need to make changes around here. With the time change I prepare myself mentally to deal with the changes that are inevitable with Dave. I will go and buy lightbulbs that are super bright to stave off sundowners. With darkness coming sooner in the day than normal we turn on the lights all over the house but they need to be brighter in the fall and winter to keep Dave as even as possible. I am thinking of looking into light therapy and buying a light. When we have sunny days I get him outside.

On occasion I can get him interested in working in the yard but mostly its just long drives. I do what I can to get him to soak up the sun and all its benefits. Sometimes it helps sometimes not. We do have that big picture window and i try to keep the curtains open as long as possible to make the house bright but then I try to shut them and turn on all the bright lights so I can keep that sunny feeling going.

There have been so many changes. You know Alzheimer's does not stop progressing. Many of the issues Dave had at the begining, the shaking and jerking, that were taken care of with medication are now back. His anxiety has increased and some days it is difficult to get him out of bed even with me giving him his anti-anxiety medication before he gets out of bed. 

He continues to lose more names and places. On our way over to Verona to celebrate our granddaughter's birthdays Dave said he had no clue where we were and thought he had never been there. (We have been to Adam's many times.) He could not remember anyone's names. I am not even sure he knew those sweet little girls were his granddaughters. He couldn't remember Adam's name but i could tell by the way he looked at Adam he knew that that was his son.

Dave & Adam

Autumn & Izzy

 Dave did well at the party especially since the day before we were at Matthew & Becee's celebrating Seeley's birthday. 

Seeley

Although Dave had fun that entire weekend it did take its toll on him.  It took almost the entire week to recuperate. I know the parties over stimulated him but I could not get him to leave either party early. By the end of the weekend he was stiff, had a lot of difficulty completing a sentence and just couldn't focus. 

Walking is starting to become more difficult.  It was really evident the week after the birthday parties. A few times Dave said his legs felt weak as though they were going to give out on him.  We tried going back to the Frisco trail for a walk in the sunshine but he was only able to walk a very short distance before his legs became weak and he felt he needed to sit down.

He is having more and more difficulty with his vision. He is not losing his vision but he does not always know which way to look when you point at something you want him to see.  He is not good at looking down so when it was time to leave the birthday parties he had difficulty figuring out how to hug each grandkid because they are little and he was unable to understand looking down, he couldn't figure out how to hug them. 

In our care group we are watching a video for our bible study and we sit on the couch directly across from the tv but Dave does not look at the tv. For some reason he is always looking to the side.  After much investigating I have come to the conclusion that his brain is not making the connection it needs to know where/how to look at the tv.  It is difficult to explain but you can see a look in his eyes and you realize he is lost. 

The difficulties and changes are part of the normal progression of the disease but they are still hard to accept. We modify a lot of our activities so he can participate as much as possible. The most difficult part is finding ways for him to continue to feel useful. I have the tendency to over do for him, i think that is partly because i am dealing with something i cannot fix, I hate to see him struggle.

Someone I know who also has Alzheimer's made the following statement: "you know when you were in school, and it was a subject you had difficulties in and the teacher calls on you for an answer, remember how that felt? that is how i feel everyday all day long."  In other words there is always a feeling of panic, confusion,dread and anxiety. Can you imaging living with those feelings every single day all day long?  And those feelings aren't just about whats going on around him but about himself, he is losing himself to himself.  

I have learned more and more how to live in "Alzheimer's world" with Dave where he is well and happy, but when the real world comes around I can see the change in him and I lose him. Fall is beautiful with all its colors and changes I just wish this horrible disease did not exist so Dave only had to experience these changes in nature and not the ones in himself.

 

                                       Monica