I am having a really hard time posting and positioning my pictures but you get the idea....it was a great day!
Monica
Thursday, December 29, 2011
A warm December day.
What do you do on a 60 degree day in December? Take a hike....well it was actually just a long walk on the Frisco Trail. The sun was shining and there was no way we were going to waste it away inside, yes I was just saying how overwhelmed I am with so much organizing there is to do IN the house but come on, it was sunny and 60 at the end of December! Besides, we thought it would do us some good to walk off all those goodies we had been munching nonstop, and of course we knew it would be good for Dave to get some fresh air and a change of scenery!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Christmas
I know that in my last post I stated that there would be more pictures from Christmas past but we took a break so we could be with family and get busy baking and making all kinds of goodies.
As everyone has been reading you know that I have not been in very good spirits, feeling over whelmed and just having a hard time dealing with things. Well, there are still things to be down about but in knowing and understanding that Christmas is really about the birth of Christ how could I continue to feel this way? I know that not everyone has the same belief system but for me (I can only speak for myself) all the celebrating during this time is like one huge birthday party. When I was young my mom really tried making sure that we understood that Christmas was more than presents, its a celebration of new life. (I remember her baking a special birthday cake, it was tiered iced with green icing sprinkled with coconut and topped with an angel. We set it next to the manger and sang happy birthday and someone would blow out the candle! I have a picture some where and will post when I find it.) This new life gave us the most ultimate presents: hope,love and everlasting life! What does all this have to do with what we are dealing with? Just think about it, we will always have hope, hope that some day doctors will understand what goes on in the brain to cause Alzheimer's and find a cure. This cure may not occur in our life time but its still there and we have the hope that the medication that Dave is on will slow down his symptoms. We have love, the love from Christ that is shown through so many people. What blessings we have received this holiday season!! God laid it on so many hearts of family and friends to reach out and give of themselves in so many ways, that is the love of Christ shining through! And then there is everlasting life, as a believer I have everlasting life because I believe in Him and celebrate His birth and all that he has given us.
This year things were different. Gabriella was the driver for herself and Dave when they went shopping and she experienced some of Dave's forgetfulness. She told me how Dave was able to give her directions to the places they were going to but then forgot the name Walmart. She said she finally figured out which store he was talking about after giving her all kinds of descriptions. She thought it was weird how he knew the directions but forgot the name of a store we frequent. The rest of the shopping was uneventful! But it only took one little incident to remind us about how he forgets so we look at the positive instead-he was able to tell her how to get places which can be hard since we are still missing some of our street signs and land marks but he remembered!
Christmas morning was our time. Sorry no pictures, we aren't too keen on pictures of us in our pajamas! We had such a hard time finding things to buy Dave this year. Funny how this diagnosis has even changed our idea of presents. We were looking for things that would be more of the artistic type, something that would work the "other" side of his brain to keep him thinking and figuring. We opted for paints, a wood bird feeder that he could paint and a preprinted canvas painting, not quiet a paint by numbers kit but something that he could paint. It was hard finding him a painting kit, he looked at them before but found the task of mixing the paints for shading a little difficult to comprehend so we had to skip those kits and the only thing left were little kids stuff. I did find this other kit not sure what its called but it was more of Dave's style of painting and not kiddish at all! Dave seemed pleased with his gifts and looking forward to trying his hand at painting again!
So that's it! That was our Christmas. We had fun with each of the kids. What a year this has been! I think for me Christmas came at the right time. It reminded me of the hope and love that was born and given to us. Hope and love that will carry us through our journey.
As everyone has been reading you know that I have not been in very good spirits, feeling over whelmed and just having a hard time dealing with things. Well, there are still things to be down about but in knowing and understanding that Christmas is really about the birth of Christ how could I continue to feel this way? I know that not everyone has the same belief system but for me (I can only speak for myself) all the celebrating during this time is like one huge birthday party. When I was young my mom really tried making sure that we understood that Christmas was more than presents, its a celebration of new life. (I remember her baking a special birthday cake, it was tiered iced with green icing sprinkled with coconut and topped with an angel. We set it next to the manger and sang happy birthday and someone would blow out the candle! I have a picture some where and will post when I find it.) This new life gave us the most ultimate presents: hope,love and everlasting life! What does all this have to do with what we are dealing with? Just think about it, we will always have hope, hope that some day doctors will understand what goes on in the brain to cause Alzheimer's and find a cure. This cure may not occur in our life time but its still there and we have the hope that the medication that Dave is on will slow down his symptoms. We have love, the love from Christ that is shown through so many people. What blessings we have received this holiday season!! God laid it on so many hearts of family and friends to reach out and give of themselves in so many ways, that is the love of Christ shining through! And then there is everlasting life, as a believer I have everlasting life because I believe in Him and celebrate His birth and all that he has given us.
This year things were different. Gabriella was the driver for herself and Dave when they went shopping and she experienced some of Dave's forgetfulness. She told me how Dave was able to give her directions to the places they were going to but then forgot the name Walmart. She said she finally figured out which store he was talking about after giving her all kinds of descriptions. She thought it was weird how he knew the directions but forgot the name of a store we frequent. The rest of the shopping was uneventful! But it only took one little incident to remind us about how he forgets so we look at the positive instead-he was able to tell her how to get places which can be hard since we are still missing some of our street signs and land marks but he remembered!
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| Michelle, Autumn, Dave, Isabelle, Adam |
We celebrated on Christmas Eve with Adam, Michelle, Autumn and baby Izzy here with us. It was so much fun! I had made breakfast casserole since it was more of a brunch time, had fruit, banana bread and cinnamon bread. Michelle brought us some yummy gingerbread! There was so much more than that so we munched all morning on all kinds of stuff! It was different for me to celebrate so early in the day but I had so much fun! It was fun seeing Dave with his granddaughters. A couple of really sweet memories for me were 1- Michelle brought some jigsaw puzzles that her grandmother would put together. Her grandmother had Alzheimer's and started doing the puzzles in her early stages, this kept her mind busy and thinking and would keep her busy through the day. How sweet for Michelle to share that with us!! 2-A conversation Autumn and Michelle had: Autumn-When are we going to Joplin: Michelle-We are in Joplin. Autumn-No we're not! Michelle-Yes, we are in Joplin. Autumn-No we're not! Michelle-We're not? Then where are we? Autumn-We're at grandpa's house!! How cute was that!! Oh yeah, Michelle also gave us jars of her canned pickles!! I made sure to take out some pulled pork from the freezer so tomorrow we can have a bbq sandwich with some of her pickles, can't wait to open those babies up!!
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| Becee, Stephanie, Matthew, Dave, Me with Seeley, Gabriella |
Later in the evening we went to Matthew and Becee's! Matthew made us a delicious dinner! He has always been a good cook! Mmmm garlic mashed potatoes! It was fun with Seeley now walking and being his cute silly self! We posed for pictures, opened gifts and played a new game Stephanie bought. It was so much fun and Dave had no problems playing a word game! The sweetest memory was watching how much Matthew and Becee were enjoying their first Christmas with Seeley! They are such good parents and they have so much fun you can't help but smile and laugh!! Seeley is such a sweet heart. He was so tired but so good natured about everything that was going on. What a blessing he is to us!
Christmas morning was our time. Sorry no pictures, we aren't too keen on pictures of us in our pajamas! We had such a hard time finding things to buy Dave this year. Funny how this diagnosis has even changed our idea of presents. We were looking for things that would be more of the artistic type, something that would work the "other" side of his brain to keep him thinking and figuring. We opted for paints, a wood bird feeder that he could paint and a preprinted canvas painting, not quiet a paint by numbers kit but something that he could paint. It was hard finding him a painting kit, he looked at them before but found the task of mixing the paints for shading a little difficult to comprehend so we had to skip those kits and the only thing left were little kids stuff. I did find this other kit not sure what its called but it was more of Dave's style of painting and not kiddish at all! Dave seemed pleased with his gifts and looking forward to trying his hand at painting again!
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| Kaden, London, Dustin, Brittney, Dave |
Later in the afternoon we went out to see Dustin, Brittney, London, Kaden, and sweet baby girl. I am so grateful that we had nice weather, it made the trip pleasant and not so scary ( I hate driving long distances in bad weather). We had fun watching London play with his new Kinect, all the moving and shaking he did, how funny!! Dustin gave us a tour of the fire station where he and Adam are volunteer firefighters! Unfortunately our visit was short, mainly because I got us lost! We chose to visit early and leave before the party started. Dave has noticed that he can communicate better in a quiet more structured gathering. His thoughts come easier and he forgets less. Even Michelle stated how good Dave did with their time with them. A relief for all the kids as they are having trouble dealing with Dave's diagnosis.
So that's it! That was our Christmas. We had fun with each of the kids. What a year this has been! I think for me Christmas came at the right time. It reminded me of the hope and love that was born and given to us. Hope and love that will carry us through our journey.
Monica
Monday, December 19, 2011
Memories from Christmas past
With this being Christmas week and Dave reminiscing we thought it would be fun to share some old photos with you. This will probably be the first of many! Dave couldn't remember the ages of the boys so if you have some idea of Dustin and Adam's ages send us an email or comment below. Hit the comment button, write your message then don't forget to state how you want to sign then publish post.(If you don't sign your comment won't publish.)
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| Dustin, Adam sitting on Dave's lap. |
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| Adam, Dave, Dustin. Cute, right?! |
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| Adam |
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| Dustin |
Love these pictures. It is so much fun looking back! Monica
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Helping and being helped.
Last weekend at church was the weekend for the delivery of Boxes of Love. They are boxes filled with food that we deliver to families and use that time to make personal contact with them, we want to show the love of Christ. Last year we helped put a box together and then deliver it, this year we decided to just help set up the room and "wrap" the boxes with Christmas paper. It was actually a fun time of fellowship with another couple from our care group. I forgot my camera so Gabriella took these pictures with her phone.
I know it looks like all we did was talk but we really did wrap lots of boxes...guess Gabriella was too busy wrapping to get those pictures until we stopped to talk! There were lots of people and lots of boxes, little did we know that we would be recipients of one. We are learning to humbly accept help because we know it is done in love and the young people who delivered the box the next day were blessed as much as we were. We continue to find ways to do God's work in our own little way!
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| Dave premeasuring the paper to fit the boxes. |
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| Measuring out lots of paper. |
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| Dave helping to set up the vegetable table. |
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| Hmmm. |
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| Mike (Margaret) & Don DeMasters. Not sure what we are contemplating but it sure was serious! |
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| More talking. |
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| Not sure what we are talking about. |
Monica
Friday, December 16, 2011
A diagnosis and randomness from the soul.
Warning: this post is very long, only read it if you have lots of time.
The diagnosis has been made, based on the MRI, it is early onset Alzheimer's. It is the diagnosis we expected but not necessarily the one we wanted to hear. We did learn that there are no tumors, masses, or no indication that Dave had any strokes. There is shrinkage of the brain which the dr. stated is common with dementia.
We have been doing our best to prepare ourselves. We had started to make some changes but still hung on to the hope that maybe something else could be causing the dementia, something that could be fixed and even if no regaining of what was lost that maybe, just maybe there wouldn't be any progress. The dr. questioned Dave again to test his memory. Dave still could not remember the city we live in, the address, the zip code, the phone number, or the year. He could however remember his birthday, and that it takes 16 quarters to make 4 dollars and that we will be celebrating Christmas soon. The dr. asked how I thought Dave was doing and so I told him what I have observed...he becomes easily distracted and cannot complete a task without being prompted and cannot follow multiple step directions. We have also noticed that he has a hard time following shows or movies with a complex plot. Based on this the dr. stated that his 4 mg tab (he takes 2x per day) will be increased to 8 mg-2x per day.
Even though we expected this diagnosis it is still very hard. Since October I have been obsessed with observations, dr appts, medications and thoughts of what are we going to do, what does our future hold? It is very difficult to put a positive light on a disease that Dave knows first hand what the end result looks like. He constantly compares himself to what his parents went through. How do you convince someone that times are different, there is medication that can help slow the progress and that his basic health is much better than his dad's had been. It is so difficult because of the frustration that is experienced when the thoughts are lost and don't come back. Intellectually Dave knows that the medical field has come a long way in the treatment of Alzheimer's but emotionally all he knows is what he experienced and he is fearful.
It is so hard. I know that I have to be the strong one, the positive one the one to keep things going, but I am giving myself permission to be the complete opposite right now. Giving myself a day or two to say "I don't want to be the fighter, the strong one, the positive one. I don't want to be in charge." I was the one who did it all when I was a single parent and did not expect to have to do it again. It is so hard. It is a strange feeling to have Dave here yet sometimes he isn't here. It is hard to explain because sometimes he can follow a conversation with no problem but then the next minute he is totally lost and we need to explain all over again what we were discussing. I say we because this doesn't just effect me but also Gabriella. She comes home from school and usually at the dinner table goes over her day, and anyone who knows me knows how fast I can talk, well when Gabriella and I get to talking it can be pretty fast and we jump from subject to subject quickly. It had not been a problem but now we have to slow it down and repeat or later I re-explain what the conversation was all about. We do our best to make sure Dave is involved with the conversation but his mind wonders or he becomes distracted. Its like being in a race, we start at the starting line together and even run side by side for a distance then the next thing you know you are way ahead leaving the others behind.
This is one race that I did not know to train for or even how to train for it. From the time I was 3 years old my mother had multiple sclerosis and my father battled different forms of cancer. We observed my dad fight to keep my mother home with us (back then a nursing home was always recommended as the drs didn't know how to treat MS) and mom fought to keep all us kids together at home. That I guess was like training for this marathon we will be in. I remember my parents stealing away to spend special time together, making time to make memories together. I wish to do the same thing but then I wonder.....will Dave remember? What can we do that will not cause frustration for him and he not enjoy our time together. When will we get to the point that we won't feel like each time we do something it could be the last time or how soon will he forget. Even Gabriella questions the future. She asked "I know this is way in the future but whenever I get married will he be okay to walk me down the aisle? He is my dad, he is the one I planned on walking me down the aisle. Do you think he will remember?" What do you say? I just said truthfully "I don't know what the future will hold." Speaking of futures. I have spent so much time working on making things okay for Dave that I have all but ignored helping Gabriella prepare for her future. She only has 2 more years before she goes to college. I have not been keeping track in helping her get prepared now. She constantly receives mail from colleges trying to recruit her already and I haven't even had time to talk with her about it and how to prepare her for making a decision and making sure she is taking the right classes and doing community service to give her a good "resume" for college apps. Two years is not far off as this year is already getting to the half way point. I was looking forward for all of us going to visit college campuses but what now?
I have been told by many people..."Live in today." yet we need to spend the present preparing for the future. We need to spend this time while Dave still has the ability to mentally process things to make sure legally things are taken care of, make sure my name is on everything so I can be the one to make phone calls and get information from any agency we need to work with, make sure that I am the primary person on the bank account, the insurance papers etc. I don't even know where to begin and am so overwhelmed. I need to organize our files so I can easily find what I need. We need to purge items from our home to make things simple and familiar for Dave. We are trying to start routines that won't have to change so there won't be complications later, we have read that the earlier you can establish routines the less frustration it will cause in the future. "Living in today." is not a mantra we can afford right now.
I have lots of people asking what do I need help with, what can they do? Well, I have been pondering this and I would like to say, "I need someone to move in. Someone else to take over running the household so I can just BE with Dave and Gabriella." I need an assistant. I need two someones on some days. One to help me organize or purge items and one to help Dave and cook for us and take care of the mundane daily items. I wouldn't need someone for very long just right now because I am having a hard time keeping up. I know that I need to get plenty of rest so I have the energy to deal with the day time things but I need a break and so I stay up late to spend time alone then I get very little sleep and don't function well the next day. It is a terrible vicious circle! I also would like someone to come and help me menu plan. So I don't have to think so much about dinner and hey can you come back and cook for me??!! Sometimes I need to be motivated. I need someone to come over and say "Hey let me be the driver today." We are wanting to start walking around the mall but I sleep late because I stay up all night and then I walk much faster than Dave so I slow down so I won't leave him behind so I need someone who will walk slow with Dave. I don't mind walking fast alone, it would be my "me" time then maybe I won't stay up so late! I want someone to tell me what kinds of things would be helpful for Dave to do. I know he gets bored around the house but I can't think of things for him to do that won't require lots of direction or constant questions....yes that does happen and we are only in the early stages of this terrible disease. Unfortunately the weather is getting cold and wet and soon snowy so all the outside stuff he enjoys can't be done. Actually, it is very hard to let people know what we might need help with because this is a long term helping situation and it can get burdensome. So I will just say pray for us. Pray for strength, and wisdom, and understanding.
The diagnosis has been made, based on the MRI, it is early onset Alzheimer's. It is the diagnosis we expected but not necessarily the one we wanted to hear. We did learn that there are no tumors, masses, or no indication that Dave had any strokes. There is shrinkage of the brain which the dr. stated is common with dementia.
We have been doing our best to prepare ourselves. We had started to make some changes but still hung on to the hope that maybe something else could be causing the dementia, something that could be fixed and even if no regaining of what was lost that maybe, just maybe there wouldn't be any progress. The dr. questioned Dave again to test his memory. Dave still could not remember the city we live in, the address, the zip code, the phone number, or the year. He could however remember his birthday, and that it takes 16 quarters to make 4 dollars and that we will be celebrating Christmas soon. The dr. asked how I thought Dave was doing and so I told him what I have observed...he becomes easily distracted and cannot complete a task without being prompted and cannot follow multiple step directions. We have also noticed that he has a hard time following shows or movies with a complex plot. Based on this the dr. stated that his 4 mg tab (he takes 2x per day) will be increased to 8 mg-2x per day.
Even though we expected this diagnosis it is still very hard. Since October I have been obsessed with observations, dr appts, medications and thoughts of what are we going to do, what does our future hold? It is very difficult to put a positive light on a disease that Dave knows first hand what the end result looks like. He constantly compares himself to what his parents went through. How do you convince someone that times are different, there is medication that can help slow the progress and that his basic health is much better than his dad's had been. It is so difficult because of the frustration that is experienced when the thoughts are lost and don't come back. Intellectually Dave knows that the medical field has come a long way in the treatment of Alzheimer's but emotionally all he knows is what he experienced and he is fearful.
It is so hard. I know that I have to be the strong one, the positive one the one to keep things going, but I am giving myself permission to be the complete opposite right now. Giving myself a day or two to say "I don't want to be the fighter, the strong one, the positive one. I don't want to be in charge." I was the one who did it all when I was a single parent and did not expect to have to do it again. It is so hard. It is a strange feeling to have Dave here yet sometimes he isn't here. It is hard to explain because sometimes he can follow a conversation with no problem but then the next minute he is totally lost and we need to explain all over again what we were discussing. I say we because this doesn't just effect me but also Gabriella. She comes home from school and usually at the dinner table goes over her day, and anyone who knows me knows how fast I can talk, well when Gabriella and I get to talking it can be pretty fast and we jump from subject to subject quickly. It had not been a problem but now we have to slow it down and repeat or later I re-explain what the conversation was all about. We do our best to make sure Dave is involved with the conversation but his mind wonders or he becomes distracted. Its like being in a race, we start at the starting line together and even run side by side for a distance then the next thing you know you are way ahead leaving the others behind.
This is one race that I did not know to train for or even how to train for it. From the time I was 3 years old my mother had multiple sclerosis and my father battled different forms of cancer. We observed my dad fight to keep my mother home with us (back then a nursing home was always recommended as the drs didn't know how to treat MS) and mom fought to keep all us kids together at home. That I guess was like training for this marathon we will be in. I remember my parents stealing away to spend special time together, making time to make memories together. I wish to do the same thing but then I wonder.....will Dave remember? What can we do that will not cause frustration for him and he not enjoy our time together. When will we get to the point that we won't feel like each time we do something it could be the last time or how soon will he forget. Even Gabriella questions the future. She asked "I know this is way in the future but whenever I get married will he be okay to walk me down the aisle? He is my dad, he is the one I planned on walking me down the aisle. Do you think he will remember?" What do you say? I just said truthfully "I don't know what the future will hold." Speaking of futures. I have spent so much time working on making things okay for Dave that I have all but ignored helping Gabriella prepare for her future. She only has 2 more years before she goes to college. I have not been keeping track in helping her get prepared now. She constantly receives mail from colleges trying to recruit her already and I haven't even had time to talk with her about it and how to prepare her for making a decision and making sure she is taking the right classes and doing community service to give her a good "resume" for college apps. Two years is not far off as this year is already getting to the half way point. I was looking forward for all of us going to visit college campuses but what now?
I have been told by many people..."Live in today." yet we need to spend the present preparing for the future. We need to spend this time while Dave still has the ability to mentally process things to make sure legally things are taken care of, make sure my name is on everything so I can be the one to make phone calls and get information from any agency we need to work with, make sure that I am the primary person on the bank account, the insurance papers etc. I don't even know where to begin and am so overwhelmed. I need to organize our files so I can easily find what I need. We need to purge items from our home to make things simple and familiar for Dave. We are trying to start routines that won't have to change so there won't be complications later, we have read that the earlier you can establish routines the less frustration it will cause in the future. "Living in today." is not a mantra we can afford right now.
I have lots of people asking what do I need help with, what can they do? Well, I have been pondering this and I would like to say, "I need someone to move in. Someone else to take over running the household so I can just BE with Dave and Gabriella." I need an assistant. I need two someones on some days. One to help me organize or purge items and one to help Dave and cook for us and take care of the mundane daily items. I wouldn't need someone for very long just right now because I am having a hard time keeping up. I know that I need to get plenty of rest so I have the energy to deal with the day time things but I need a break and so I stay up late to spend time alone then I get very little sleep and don't function well the next day. It is a terrible vicious circle! I also would like someone to come and help me menu plan. So I don't have to think so much about dinner and hey can you come back and cook for me??!! Sometimes I need to be motivated. I need someone to come over and say "Hey let me be the driver today." We are wanting to start walking around the mall but I sleep late because I stay up all night and then I walk much faster than Dave so I slow down so I won't leave him behind so I need someone who will walk slow with Dave. I don't mind walking fast alone, it would be my "me" time then maybe I won't stay up so late! I want someone to tell me what kinds of things would be helpful for Dave to do. I know he gets bored around the house but I can't think of things for him to do that won't require lots of direction or constant questions....yes that does happen and we are only in the early stages of this terrible disease. Unfortunately the weather is getting cold and wet and soon snowy so all the outside stuff he enjoys can't be done. Actually, it is very hard to let people know what we might need help with because this is a long term helping situation and it can get burdensome. So I will just say pray for us. Pray for strength, and wisdom, and understanding.
Monica
Friday, December 9, 2011
Testing completed
On Thursday I made it through my two test. The hardest thing I had to do to prepare for the test was to give up caffeine! No caffeine after midnight or before the test which meant no coffee,no hot chocolate, nothing like that in the morning! The MRI proved to be everything everyone said it would be-NOISY! The machine looks just like what you see on television. First you lay down flat on your back, it feels like your head is lower than your body, you can feel the blood rushing to your head. They then placed a clear hood of some kind over my face. They said it is a faster machine and warned that it would be a lot louder than the old one. They also gave me a ball to hold onto which I was instructed to squeeze if the procedure became too much. I was in there for about 40 minutes. I got through it by counting along with the machine in my head to 60, it takes about 60 seconds for each image. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be because I occupied my mind on the counting. A few times I could feel my hands getting sweaty but I kept counting to just get through it.
My second test was the EEG. That one was easy. I was laying down on my back with my eyes closed. One time the tech wanted me to open my eyes and look ahead, then close them again. I was then instructed to increase my breathing, it was like forcing myself to hyperventilate. I was told that I might get light headed, dizzy, dry mouth or tingling in my fingers but to keep going. After returning to normal breathing a strobe light was then placed in front of me (my eyes were to stay closed). It started slow then the strobes became faster. I could see different colors, it was weird. Made it through again!
It will be a week to two weeks before we get the results. These test were tiring mentally but I knew that I had to have them to get a more definite diagnosis. I am glad its over but glad I went through it! Now it was time for a BIG cup of coffee!
Dave
My second test was the EEG. That one was easy. I was laying down on my back with my eyes closed. One time the tech wanted me to open my eyes and look ahead, then close them again. I was then instructed to increase my breathing, it was like forcing myself to hyperventilate. I was told that I might get light headed, dizzy, dry mouth or tingling in my fingers but to keep going. After returning to normal breathing a strobe light was then placed in front of me (my eyes were to stay closed). It started slow then the strobes became faster. I could see different colors, it was weird. Made it through again! It will be a week to two weeks before we get the results. These test were tiring mentally but I knew that I had to have them to get a more definite diagnosis. I am glad its over but glad I went through it! Now it was time for a BIG cup of coffee!
Dave
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Testing date
We promised to keep everyone up to date on what is going on so here it is: Thursday, Dec. 8 Dave is scheduled for both the MRI and the EEG. The doctor will receive the written results for the MRI within 48 hours. It will be a little over a week before we know the results of the EEG as the doctor reads them himself. We have an appointment scheduled for Dec. 14th so hopefully we will know what the MRI results are.
The test are routine and used to rule out other causes for the dementia. The doctor will be checking for any seizure type activity or symptoms, vascular problems, tumors or TIAs. (TIA is a Transient Ischemic Attack or otherwise known as mini-stroke.) Please keep Dave in your prayers.
The test are routine and used to rule out other causes for the dementia. The doctor will be checking for any seizure type activity or symptoms, vascular problems, tumors or TIAs. (TIA is a Transient Ischemic Attack or otherwise known as mini-stroke.) Please keep Dave in your prayers.
Monica
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Dealing with conversations.
Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone. We traveled to Kansas City so I could spend some time with my family. This was our first holiday without either parent and Dave knew that it would be important for me and my siblings to be together, and I think he knew I could use someone to talk with.
We enjoyed our visit with Anita (Dave's sister) when she came into town earlier this month. It was so good for Dave to sit and talk with family. She gave us the break we needed as we were still in the early stages of comprehending how things will be different. She also gave us some books regarding early stages of Alzheimer's that have been a HUGE help. I was glad to see how much this visit helped Dave to relax and become more accepting of the changes. She was great at brain storming thoughts with and on possible things we could do to help ourselves. These were simple ideas that we didn't think of as we were consumed with the diagnosis-physical activity, diet changes, fresh air etc.. Anita is lively, positive, and a breath of fresh air. She is an advocate for Dave.
Just as I saw how beneficial this visit with Anita was to Dave I think he knew I needed the same from my family. I did spend some time talking with my sister Linda but mostly it was just being around someone who we both could be relaxed around and I knew would take her time with Dave and not rush him to talk or talk "around" him, or be uncomfortable with him. We both needed that so much as we still find it difficult to be in large gatherings. Dave had time to talk one on one with Linda and others during Thanksgiving and it appeared to me that he did well with his thought process. He was able to complete his sentences and follow through on his responses to others. One thing I did miss was his quick wit when there was friendly teasing. Being quick witted is no longer part of him as he needs the time to think of the words. I was concerned how people would be with Dave. Everyone in the family knows about his diagnosis but the very nature of people when around someone who is "ill" or "disabled" or just different they have the tendency to be afraid or ignore the "ill" person. Our hope though through this blog is to put everyone at ease but also to remind you that Dave is still a person who is alert and aware and should not be dismissed. Talk with him, laugh with him, listen to him but just take your time and please give him the time to finish his thoughts and he can finish the conversation.
Our Thanksgiving was filled with tears, laughter and lots of one on one conversation. All done with love!
The trip to Kansas City is something we all needed. It was good for all of us, getting together with family and a change of scenery. It was good for me to get around other people, it helped me with my thought processes. I feel that I was able to slow down on my thinking and learn to form my words. I believe I am learning how to speak easier, sometimes I tend to lose my thoughts and I try to give myself a few seconds to form what I am trying to say. Sometimes I lose my thought all together, just give me a few seconds and if I can't find the words at that moment, I will say "Give me a bit and I will tell you later." Just give me time, it does come back. I used to feel embarrassed with my new way of speaking, any more that is how it will be. I am learning to accept it and work around it, I just ask that you not be embarrassed for me or too embarrassed or awkward to talk with me.
I like reading your comments, we just haven't figured out how to respond but know that we read them all and appreciate them. We like to hear from others how you are doing, and prayer request. Prayer is one thing I know I can do as God understands what is in my heart even if I can't verbalize it.
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| Dave & Anita |
Just as I saw how beneficial this visit with Anita was to Dave I think he knew I needed the same from my family. I did spend some time talking with my sister Linda but mostly it was just being around someone who we both could be relaxed around and I knew would take her time with Dave and not rush him to talk or talk "around" him, or be uncomfortable with him. We both needed that so much as we still find it difficult to be in large gatherings. Dave had time to talk one on one with Linda and others during Thanksgiving and it appeared to me that he did well with his thought process. He was able to complete his sentences and follow through on his responses to others. One thing I did miss was his quick wit when there was friendly teasing. Being quick witted is no longer part of him as he needs the time to think of the words. I was concerned how people would be with Dave. Everyone in the family knows about his diagnosis but the very nature of people when around someone who is "ill" or "disabled" or just different they have the tendency to be afraid or ignore the "ill" person. Our hope though through this blog is to put everyone at ease but also to remind you that Dave is still a person who is alert and aware and should not be dismissed. Talk with him, laugh with him, listen to him but just take your time and please give him the time to finish his thoughts and he can finish the conversation.
Our Thanksgiving was filled with tears, laughter and lots of one on one conversation. All done with love!
Monica
The trip to Kansas City is something we all needed. It was good for all of us, getting together with family and a change of scenery. It was good for me to get around other people, it helped me with my thought processes. I feel that I was able to slow down on my thinking and learn to form my words. I believe I am learning how to speak easier, sometimes I tend to lose my thoughts and I try to give myself a few seconds to form what I am trying to say. Sometimes I lose my thought all together, just give me a few seconds and if I can't find the words at that moment, I will say "Give me a bit and I will tell you later." Just give me time, it does come back. I used to feel embarrassed with my new way of speaking, any more that is how it will be. I am learning to accept it and work around it, I just ask that you not be embarrassed for me or too embarrassed or awkward to talk with me.
I like reading your comments, we just haven't figured out how to respond but know that we read them all and appreciate them. We like to hear from others how you are doing, and prayer request. Prayer is one thing I know I can do as God understands what is in my heart even if I can't verbalize it.
Dave
Monday, November 21, 2011
Blessings in small steps.
Blessings, Gratefulness, Thanks. This week we reflect on all things that surround us that we are so grateful to have, family and friends who love us, a place to call home, food, a job, a car, etc. For me this week it is the small steps in our journey that I take joy in and am so thankful for! The new medication Dave is on is not making him sick! He is not having any side effects at this time and feels "good".
The other night we went out to Books a Million, picked up some magazines and books to thumb through and sat at Joe Mugs and had some hot chocolate. This had been a favorite pass time when we didn't want to just sit at home but not feeling like really "going out". We haven't done that for so long because there wasn't much joy in it for Dave. So there we sat, I would show Dave some craft or idea for a home made gift and there he was reading the intro to a book from one of his favorite authors. To both our amazement he actually read through a few pages without getting frustrated because he lost what the words were he was looking at or couldn't remember what he had just read - he actually didn't struggle and enjoyed once again one of his favorite pass times-READING! How grateful I am for these two small steps!
Of course I am grateful for family and friends who surround us with love and prayers but for me this week I am grateful for the joy I saw on Dave's face as he read!
Love and Blessings to all this week of Thanksgiving!
Monica
We went out one evening, just the two of us, we drove around town and ended up at one of our favorite places. Went to the bookstore and had some hot cocoa. We looked at some titles that I liked and found myself reading. I would like to think that this is the new medication but I know the true results will not show for a few more months. I just feel a lot better knowing that we may have something that works. I am grateful for everyone around me. I have a wonderful wife that stands next to me and I am so grateful and blessed, knowing she is always here for me. I know we have a long way to go, I am learning more all the time and I am feeling a lot better.
God Bless everyone and will "talk" more later.
Dave
The other night we went out to Books a Million, picked up some magazines and books to thumb through and sat at Joe Mugs and had some hot chocolate. This had been a favorite pass time when we didn't want to just sit at home but not feeling like really "going out". We haven't done that for so long because there wasn't much joy in it for Dave. So there we sat, I would show Dave some craft or idea for a home made gift and there he was reading the intro to a book from one of his favorite authors. To both our amazement he actually read through a few pages without getting frustrated because he lost what the words were he was looking at or couldn't remember what he had just read - he actually didn't struggle and enjoyed once again one of his favorite pass times-READING! How grateful I am for these two small steps!
Of course I am grateful for family and friends who surround us with love and prayers but for me this week I am grateful for the joy I saw on Dave's face as he read!
Love and Blessings to all this week of Thanksgiving!
Monica
We went out one evening, just the two of us, we drove around town and ended up at one of our favorite places. Went to the bookstore and had some hot cocoa. We looked at some titles that I liked and found myself reading. I would like to think that this is the new medication but I know the true results will not show for a few more months. I just feel a lot better knowing that we may have something that works. I am grateful for everyone around me. I have a wonderful wife that stands next to me and I am so grateful and blessed, knowing she is always here for me. I know we have a long way to go, I am learning more all the time and I am feeling a lot better.
God Bless everyone and will "talk" more later.
Dave
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Changes
Change, no matter what kind is always scary. When I first realized that I was having problems with remembering things I couldn't believe it! Looking back I realize that I was having problems for a longer time than I want to admit, who wants to believe that it could be more than just random times of forgetfulness. One day Monica told me that she felt that there was something wrong, something more. I did not want to admit even to her what I was afraid my life was going to be like. I had to admit that yes, I was having more than just "forgetfulness", it was time to see a doctor, it was time to find out if my fear was real.
After some simple questions-"Where do you live?", "Who is the president?", "Do you know who your wife is?", it was obvious that there was more to my inability to recall information. Of course the doctor went over my medical history and family history. Both of my parents and some of my aunts & uncles had been diagnosed with dementia. The doctor felt that more test were needed and referred me to a neurologist. On the visit sheet was the diagnoses I feared-"dementia, cause unknown".
My visit to the neurologist was not as scary because I had already started to accept my diagnosis. Not an easy thing to accept. The neurologist performed more test. "Name as many animals that you can in 1 minute" I could only name 4, dog, cat, fish, deer. "Who is the president" couldn't remember. "What city do you live in" couldn't recall. "What year is it" said 2010, the dr said close it is 2011. "Starting with 100 and going backwards subtract 7" all I could do was count by sevens, not what he wanted but that was all I could do even when he gave me the first answer. I had to copy a picture he drew not sure how that went but not bad. Also had to do some strength test, walking, and balance. He ordered an MRI and an EEG. Those are yet to be completed. He also started me on Aricept. It is the most prescribed medication, he stated that it would help minimize the progression and maybe regain some of what I have lost. He also said that they are not sure how it works, but about 50% can benefit from it. After the first week of taking only half the dose as directed I continued to experience side effects that should have gone away. We were directed to discontinue and was given a new prescription-Razadyne. I have been taking it now for 1 1/2 days. We will see how this one goes.
So it starts-changes. One of the hardest changes is how it affects my relationships with my kids, family, and with Monica. Its an awful disease that tries to steal the most important people from my memory. But with Monica we will fight the best that we can, we will fight back. I know that all of my family will be by my side to help me fight and I need them now more than ever. Another difficult change is my driving or lack of ability to drive for fear of forgetting how to get some where so that now falls on Monica. There is a whole shift in responsibilities, changes that are hard to make because I do not want my family to see me differently. Another change is the realization that I may not be able to participate as I want with ministries at church. It is hard when you are a servant to feel that you no longer can serve but need to be served. What a change!
Dave
After some simple questions-"Where do you live?", "Who is the president?", "Do you know who your wife is?", it was obvious that there was more to my inability to recall information. Of course the doctor went over my medical history and family history. Both of my parents and some of my aunts & uncles had been diagnosed with dementia. The doctor felt that more test were needed and referred me to a neurologist. On the visit sheet was the diagnoses I feared-"dementia, cause unknown".
My visit to the neurologist was not as scary because I had already started to accept my diagnosis. Not an easy thing to accept. The neurologist performed more test. "Name as many animals that you can in 1 minute" I could only name 4, dog, cat, fish, deer. "Who is the president" couldn't remember. "What city do you live in" couldn't recall. "What year is it" said 2010, the dr said close it is 2011. "Starting with 100 and going backwards subtract 7" all I could do was count by sevens, not what he wanted but that was all I could do even when he gave me the first answer. I had to copy a picture he drew not sure how that went but not bad. Also had to do some strength test, walking, and balance. He ordered an MRI and an EEG. Those are yet to be completed. He also started me on Aricept. It is the most prescribed medication, he stated that it would help minimize the progression and maybe regain some of what I have lost. He also said that they are not sure how it works, but about 50% can benefit from it. After the first week of taking only half the dose as directed I continued to experience side effects that should have gone away. We were directed to discontinue and was given a new prescription-Razadyne. I have been taking it now for 1 1/2 days. We will see how this one goes.
So it starts-changes. One of the hardest changes is how it affects my relationships with my kids, family, and with Monica. Its an awful disease that tries to steal the most important people from my memory. But with Monica we will fight the best that we can, we will fight back. I know that all of my family will be by my side to help me fight and I need them now more than ever. Another difficult change is my driving or lack of ability to drive for fear of forgetting how to get some where so that now falls on Monica. There is a whole shift in responsibilities, changes that are hard to make because I do not want my family to see me differently. Another change is the realization that I may not be able to participate as I want with ministries at church. It is hard when you are a servant to feel that you no longer can serve but need to be served. What a change!
Dave
Sunday, November 13, 2011
The start of a new chapter
Hi! I am glad you decided to come by and check out our new little blog. Why? What do we have to say? Well, as some of you know Dave and I are starting a new chapter in our lives, its actually going to be a long journey along a road with potholes, smooth clear paths and bumps.
Lets first start with the name of our blog: For better, For worse Together. These words are part of the vows we made on our wedding day,words that are part of the covenant we made to one another to be by each other together. We have had so many fun, happy, uplifting times but we have also been through some tough times. We have stood side by side through celebrations of marriage, births of grandchildren, graduations, birthdays, baptisms, and various accomplishments of our kids. We have also stood side by side as we felt helpless when kids,grandchildren,my parents, or one of us were ill, or struggling through our relationships with our families and even when struggling with our faith. We have also endured the heartache of losing people we love either through death or simply because they walked away. But, we got through them because we stood side by side together and together we sought comfort in our heavenly father.
Whats this new chapter, this long journey we will be on together? The name of this journey is Dementia. Dementia? Really? Yes. Do I mean Alzheimer's? Right now we don't know. Aren't they one in the same? NO. Dementia is a symptom of a bigger illness. Its like having a broken bone but you have pain first: pain is the symptom of the broken bone. Its like fever being a symptom of an infection. Do you see? Right now Dave is having the symptom of dementia, the cause of which we don't know. We do know what is not causing it, it is not caused by a B12 deficiency, a thyroid problem, or a head injury. Could it be caused by his history of high blood pressure? Possibly. How will we know? We are working on getting an MRI and an EEG. These two test will help the doctor decide the cause. We pray that the cause will be something that could be reversed and Dave will recover what he has already lost. If that is the case this blog will be extremely short as there will not be any need for it! Can we all say "YEAH" and "Praise the Lord". In the mean time we thought this blog would be a good way to communicate with all of you what we are experiencing. We can keep you up to date on all the medical appointments, test and medication changes as they occur. I am not sure how often we will be posting. Some of the post may consist of stories of things we have done or stories of experiences Dave had before we became a family. We are hoping that writing them down and sharing them will be a helpful tool in the future. I will be the author of most of the post but hopefully Dave will get the courage to share some of himself too.
One more thing, I am apologizing from the start that I am not a writer. I am not eloquent with words, or sentence structure. I know this will really bug those teachers and writers out there but not all of us received that gift. I will try my best and I have to say I am soooo thankful for spell check!
Well, this is it for the first post. Those of you who know me know that I could go on and on for a long time, but it is extremely late and I need some rest. Just know that Dave and I love you all and appreciate all the prayers, love and support.
Lets first start with the name of our blog: For better, For worse Together. These words are part of the vows we made on our wedding day,words that are part of the covenant we made to one another to be by each other together. We have had so many fun, happy, uplifting times but we have also been through some tough times. We have stood side by side through celebrations of marriage, births of grandchildren, graduations, birthdays, baptisms, and various accomplishments of our kids. We have also stood side by side as we felt helpless when kids,grandchildren,my parents, or one of us were ill, or struggling through our relationships with our families and even when struggling with our faith. We have also endured the heartache of losing people we love either through death or simply because they walked away. But, we got through them because we stood side by side together and together we sought comfort in our heavenly father.
Whats this new chapter, this long journey we will be on together? The name of this journey is Dementia. Dementia? Really? Yes. Do I mean Alzheimer's? Right now we don't know. Aren't they one in the same? NO. Dementia is a symptom of a bigger illness. Its like having a broken bone but you have pain first: pain is the symptom of the broken bone. Its like fever being a symptom of an infection. Do you see? Right now Dave is having the symptom of dementia, the cause of which we don't know. We do know what is not causing it, it is not caused by a B12 deficiency, a thyroid problem, or a head injury. Could it be caused by his history of high blood pressure? Possibly. How will we know? We are working on getting an MRI and an EEG. These two test will help the doctor decide the cause. We pray that the cause will be something that could be reversed and Dave will recover what he has already lost. If that is the case this blog will be extremely short as there will not be any need for it! Can we all say "YEAH" and "Praise the Lord". In the mean time we thought this blog would be a good way to communicate with all of you what we are experiencing. We can keep you up to date on all the medical appointments, test and medication changes as they occur. I am not sure how often we will be posting. Some of the post may consist of stories of things we have done or stories of experiences Dave had before we became a family. We are hoping that writing them down and sharing them will be a helpful tool in the future. I will be the author of most of the post but hopefully Dave will get the courage to share some of himself too.
One more thing, I am apologizing from the start that I am not a writer. I am not eloquent with words, or sentence structure. I know this will really bug those teachers and writers out there but not all of us received that gift. I will try my best and I have to say I am soooo thankful for spell check!
Well, this is it for the first post. Those of you who know me know that I could go on and on for a long time, but it is extremely late and I need some rest. Just know that Dave and I love you all and appreciate all the prayers, love and support.
Monica
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