Monica
Saturday, January 14, 2012
quick update
I have been asked about Dave's EEG results which means I forgot to let everyone know that they were "normal". The Dr was looking for any kind of seizure activity but guess there were none! I posted before that the Dr increased the dosage of his Galantamine and he started that this week, so far so good! Have a good weekend!
Friday, January 13, 2012
support group
On the second Tuesday of each month Freeman Hospital conducts a support group for "friends and family of persons with any type of dementia, including Alzheimer’s." Stephanie had given me the information about this group a few months ago but due to holidays I didn't make any plans to attend. This Tuesday I made sure dinner was done early so I wouldn't have any excuse not to go and off I went, the meeting is just an hour long from 6:00 to 7:00 pm.
I wasn't sure what to expect and with the meeting only being an hour long couldn't imagine much would be accomplished. I am not ashamed to admit that I have been in support groups before at various stages in my life and have worked in agencies that even conducted these groups so I feel that I have some knowledge of what goes on. For some reason attending this group was something I didn't look forward to and was actually a little afraid. I know it has been a few days since the meeting but it has taken me a while to process my feelings.
The group is led by the social worker of the Senior Serenity wing of the hospital which is just a nice way to say the Alzheimer's unit and by the activities director from the same department and the Stephens Unit, which is the psychiatric unit for adults and teens. The group is very small about 8-10 people. Information was given about activities that would be beneficial for the dementia patient and there was time for questions and answers. Looking at this list and listening to concerns from others was kinda depressing. The activities were things that you would give a child to do to occupy their time and make them feel more constructive to household running, you know things like, allow them to set the table and acknowledge how well they did, sort buttons, stamp envelopes, shine shoes, and other activities. There are some things that Dave continues to do like cook and laundry and he is the green thumb of the family so he takes care of the house plants, these are also activities that were listed but why, when reading this list could I only imagine a frail mindless person? The person I am with everyday is no where close to what this conjured up in my mind. I was also bombarded with questions, which I know is normal since I was obviously the new person in the group and was responded to with "Oh" and "Aw" when I informed them of Dave's age and then patted on the shoulder. I am usually not an active participant at the start of anything, I usually wait a time or two to decide if its safe to be verbal and told myself that I would not cry. Well all that went out the window after I realized time was running out and I had not learned what I wanted. So very quickly I started talking and asked a couple of questions and did get some answers.
Will I go back? Probably. They do have speakers lined up that I am interested in listening to and learning from. Was it what I expected? Not on this first meeting. I did learn that it is only an hour long because not everyone has a caregiver to depend on for longer than the hour plus travel time. Something I haven't thought about even after being asked if I could leave Dave alone and not be worried that he would wander off. Depressing? Yes, it was for me. I guess part of me is still in denial even though everyday I see little things that Dave is forgetting, nothing big just things that only as his wife I can see. I also learned that from research it is estimated that an Alzheimer's patient is given an 8-10 year life span from their first symptoms. When were Dave's? I have no clue but I am going from the time of diagnosis. ( There is that denial again.)
Anyway I want to end on a good note, so did you see the pictures on the last post? We finally got Dave a little spot in the alcove where he can paint. The puzzles he will have to do on the dining room table. We have this green felt piece that you roll your puzzles up in so you don't lose pieces or have to dismantle what you have put together, that way we can still eat dinner at the table. Dave said that after spending time painting he felt really good! It got his brain working again and he was happy!! YAY!!
I wasn't sure what to expect and with the meeting only being an hour long couldn't imagine much would be accomplished. I am not ashamed to admit that I have been in support groups before at various stages in my life and have worked in agencies that even conducted these groups so I feel that I have some knowledge of what goes on. For some reason attending this group was something I didn't look forward to and was actually a little afraid. I know it has been a few days since the meeting but it has taken me a while to process my feelings.
The group is led by the social worker of the Senior Serenity wing of the hospital which is just a nice way to say the Alzheimer's unit and by the activities director from the same department and the Stephens Unit, which is the psychiatric unit for adults and teens. The group is very small about 8-10 people. Information was given about activities that would be beneficial for the dementia patient and there was time for questions and answers. Looking at this list and listening to concerns from others was kinda depressing. The activities were things that you would give a child to do to occupy their time and make them feel more constructive to household running, you know things like, allow them to set the table and acknowledge how well they did, sort buttons, stamp envelopes, shine shoes, and other activities. There are some things that Dave continues to do like cook and laundry and he is the green thumb of the family so he takes care of the house plants, these are also activities that were listed but why, when reading this list could I only imagine a frail mindless person? The person I am with everyday is no where close to what this conjured up in my mind. I was also bombarded with questions, which I know is normal since I was obviously the new person in the group and was responded to with "Oh" and "Aw" when I informed them of Dave's age and then patted on the shoulder. I am usually not an active participant at the start of anything, I usually wait a time or two to decide if its safe to be verbal and told myself that I would not cry. Well all that went out the window after I realized time was running out and I had not learned what I wanted. So very quickly I started talking and asked a couple of questions and did get some answers.
Will I go back? Probably. They do have speakers lined up that I am interested in listening to and learning from. Was it what I expected? Not on this first meeting. I did learn that it is only an hour long because not everyone has a caregiver to depend on for longer than the hour plus travel time. Something I haven't thought about even after being asked if I could leave Dave alone and not be worried that he would wander off. Depressing? Yes, it was for me. I guess part of me is still in denial even though everyday I see little things that Dave is forgetting, nothing big just things that only as his wife I can see. I also learned that from research it is estimated that an Alzheimer's patient is given an 8-10 year life span from their first symptoms. When were Dave's? I have no clue but I am going from the time of diagnosis. ( There is that denial again.)
Anyway I want to end on a good note, so did you see the pictures on the last post? We finally got Dave a little spot in the alcove where he can paint. The puzzles he will have to do on the dining room table. We have this green felt piece that you roll your puzzles up in so you don't lose pieces or have to dismantle what you have put together, that way we can still eat dinner at the table. Dave said that after spending time painting he felt really good! It got his brain working again and he was happy!! YAY!!
Monica
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Happy New Year!! ( a few days late)
Well, 2011 is finally over! Hope everyone enjoyed however you decided to ring in the new year. We had a very nice new years eve. Our friends invited us over to ring in the new year with them and their kids. We are usually home bodies when it comes to this holiday, too many crazy drivers for our taste. Anyway, we were with Mark and DeGee. The girls, Gabriella, Alissa, and Lauren played Wii and ate and laughed while us grown-ups ate, talked, ate, talked, played a game, and talked some more! Thank you Mark and DeGee for such a fun night!
I know this is a late post but it has taken us a few days to finally decide to take our Christmas decorations down. We are still in the midst of arranging furniture and putting other things in order. Taking down the tree and decorations is a chore I dread but this time I really dreaded it! It seems that with each item being put away the "magic" of Christmas slowly disappeared. After finally getting into the spirit of Christmas there were a few days when everything seemed like old times and I dreaded going back to the reality of our lives. We were busy baking, decorating and visiting with our kids and it was easy to stay distracted. Having Gabriella home was nice, it gave both of us someone else to talk to.
We hear all the time how the holidays are a source of depression and let down and usually I don't worry too much about it but this year I think Dave was having some delayed effects. On Monday he was having a bad day. I noticed that for a few days he has seemed really tired. He has stated that he is having some really bad dreams. He has not been able to remember them enough to tell me what they are but stated that one was really "dark" and he had a hard time shaking it off. Dave has never been able to remember his dreams, so much so that he thought he never had them. He was teary eyed most of the day, it hurts when you can't fix whatever is causing those feelings. He said he was having a "feeling sorry for myself" kind of day. I think there is more to it than that but he isn't ready to talk yet. He hasn't looked good to me but just can't pin point what it is. We decided to find errands to run so we could keep busy outside of the house.
Tuesday was my bad day. Not sure why but I was in a bad mood all day! When I am like that I try not to talk too much so I don't say something that will be hurtful, thankfully Dave understands that so he doesn't feel ignored. I think part of the reason for my bad mood was that I am having a hard time putting things in order and furniture is all over, I can't stand for my house to be such a mess! We are going to get rid of some furniture, after having a piece of furniture unexpectedly delivered (it was from dad's "estate") after we had our house moved around to accommodate the Christmas tree we now have to accommodate it. So we have been in discussion as to what to get rid of - the brown couch or the two chairs. If you have been to our house and seen or sat in either piece of furniture give us your vote...couch or chairs? I have to get rid of them SOON I am tired of being crowded and we can't seem to decide. I also still have a hard time dealing with the fact that it is not always a good thing for Dave to drive alone, so when tubs had to be taken to the storage I drove when what I really wanted to do was stay home and clean and move furniture. It takes twice as long to accomplish things now and I can't seem to adjust. I know this makes me sound crabby and impatient and some days I am, can't deny it. I was looking forward to having the house in order as Dave was looking forward to getting started painting and I wanted him to try while he was feeling in the mood but because things took so long he didn't get a chance to paint. I hope he will feel like it another day.
On top of all this I still have lots of thank you notes to write! Good thing I don't do resolutions or I would have failed in no time at all! I know that I am not "Super Woman" or a "Super Housewife" but like Samantha used to do on "Bewitched", I wish I could just wriggle my nose and have it all be done!
I know this is a late post but it has taken us a few days to finally decide to take our Christmas decorations down. We are still in the midst of arranging furniture and putting other things in order. Taking down the tree and decorations is a chore I dread but this time I really dreaded it! It seems that with each item being put away the "magic" of Christmas slowly disappeared. After finally getting into the spirit of Christmas there were a few days when everything seemed like old times and I dreaded going back to the reality of our lives. We were busy baking, decorating and visiting with our kids and it was easy to stay distracted. Having Gabriella home was nice, it gave both of us someone else to talk to.
We hear all the time how the holidays are a source of depression and let down and usually I don't worry too much about it but this year I think Dave was having some delayed effects. On Monday he was having a bad day. I noticed that for a few days he has seemed really tired. He has stated that he is having some really bad dreams. He has not been able to remember them enough to tell me what they are but stated that one was really "dark" and he had a hard time shaking it off. Dave has never been able to remember his dreams, so much so that he thought he never had them. He was teary eyed most of the day, it hurts when you can't fix whatever is causing those feelings. He said he was having a "feeling sorry for myself" kind of day. I think there is more to it than that but he isn't ready to talk yet. He hasn't looked good to me but just can't pin point what it is. We decided to find errands to run so we could keep busy outside of the house.
Tuesday was my bad day. Not sure why but I was in a bad mood all day! When I am like that I try not to talk too much so I don't say something that will be hurtful, thankfully Dave understands that so he doesn't feel ignored. I think part of the reason for my bad mood was that I am having a hard time putting things in order and furniture is all over, I can't stand for my house to be such a mess! We are going to get rid of some furniture, after having a piece of furniture unexpectedly delivered (it was from dad's "estate") after we had our house moved around to accommodate the Christmas tree we now have to accommodate it. So we have been in discussion as to what to get rid of - the brown couch or the two chairs. If you have been to our house and seen or sat in either piece of furniture give us your vote...couch or chairs? I have to get rid of them SOON I am tired of being crowded and we can't seem to decide. I also still have a hard time dealing with the fact that it is not always a good thing for Dave to drive alone, so when tubs had to be taken to the storage I drove when what I really wanted to do was stay home and clean and move furniture. It takes twice as long to accomplish things now and I can't seem to adjust. I know this makes me sound crabby and impatient and some days I am, can't deny it. I was looking forward to having the house in order as Dave was looking forward to getting started painting and I wanted him to try while he was feeling in the mood but because things took so long he didn't get a chance to paint. I hope he will feel like it another day.
On top of all this I still have lots of thank you notes to write! Good thing I don't do resolutions or I would have failed in no time at all! I know that I am not "Super Woman" or a "Super Housewife" but like Samantha used to do on "Bewitched", I wish I could just wriggle my nose and have it all be done!
Monica
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