We promised to keep everyone up to date on what is going on so here it is: Thursday, Dec. 8 Dave is scheduled for both the MRI and the EEG. The doctor will receive the written results for the MRI within 48 hours. It will be a little over a week before we know the results of the EEG as the doctor reads them himself. We have an appointment scheduled for Dec. 14th so hopefully we will know what the MRI results are.
The test are routine and used to rule out other causes for the dementia. The doctor will be checking for any seizure type activity or symptoms, vascular problems, tumors or TIAs. (TIA is a Transient Ischemic Attack or otherwise known as mini-stroke.) Please keep Dave in your prayers.
Monica
Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone. We traveled to Kansas City so I could spend some time with my family. This was our first holiday without either parent and Dave knew that it would be important for me and my siblings to be together, and I think he knew I could use someone to talk with.
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| Dave & Anita |
We enjoyed our visit with Anita (Dave's sister) when she came into town earlier this month. It was so good for Dave to sit and talk with family. She gave us the break we needed as we were still in the early stages of comprehending how things will be different. She also gave us some books regarding early stages of Alzheimer's that have been a HUGE help. I was glad to see how much this visit helped Dave to relax and become more accepting of the changes. She was great at brain storming thoughts with and on possible things we could do to help ourselves. These were simple ideas that we didn't think of as we were consumed with the diagnosis-physical activity, diet changes, fresh air etc.. Anita is lively, positive, and a breath of fresh air. She is an advocate for Dave.
Just as I saw how beneficial this visit with Anita was to Dave I think he knew I needed the same from my family. I did spend some time talking with my sister Linda but mostly it was just being around someone who we both could be relaxed around and I knew would take her time with Dave and not rush him to talk or talk "around" him, or be uncomfortable with him. We both needed that so much as we still find it difficult to be in large gatherings. Dave had time to talk one on one with Linda and others during Thanksgiving and it appeared to me that he did well with his thought process. He was able to complete his sentences and follow through on his responses to others. One thing I did miss was his quick wit when there was friendly teasing. Being quick witted is no longer part of him as he needs the time to think of the words. I was concerned how people would be with Dave. Everyone in the family knows about his diagnosis but the very nature of people when around someone who is "ill" or "disabled" or just different they have the tendency to be afraid or ignore the "ill" person. Our hope though through this blog is to put everyone at ease but also to remind you that Dave is still a person who is alert and aware and should not be dismissed. Talk with him, laugh with him, listen to him but just take your time and please give him the time to finish his thoughts and he can finish the conversation.
Our Thanksgiving was filled with tears, laughter and lots of one on one conversation. All done with love!
Monica
The trip to Kansas City is something we all needed. It was good for all of us, getting together with family and a change of scenery. It was good for me to get around other people, it helped me with my thought processes. I feel that I was able to slow down on my thinking and learn to form my words. I believe I am learning how to speak easier, sometimes I tend to lose my thoughts and I try to give myself a few seconds to form what I am trying to say. Sometimes I lose my thought all together, just give me a few seconds and if I can't find the words at that moment, I will say "Give me a bit and I will tell you later." Just give me time, it does come back. I used to feel embarrassed with my new way of speaking, any more that is how it will be. I am learning to accept it and work around it, I just ask that you not be embarrassed for me or too embarrassed or awkward to talk with me.
I like reading your comments, we just haven't figured out how to respond but know that we read them all and appreciate them. We like to hear from others how you are doing, and prayer request. Prayer is one thing I know I can do as God understands what is in my heart even if I can't verbalize it.
Dave
Blessings, Gratefulness, Thanks. This week we reflect on all things that surround us that we are so grateful to have, family and friends who love us, a place to call home, food, a job, a car, etc. For me this week it is the small steps in our journey that I take joy in and am so thankful for! The new medication Dave is on is not making him sick! He is not having any side effects at this time and feels "good".
The other night we went out to Books a Million, picked up some magazines and books to thumb through and sat at Joe Mugs and had some hot chocolate. This had been a favorite pass time when we didn't want to just sit at home but not feeling like really "going out". We haven't done that for so long because there wasn't much joy in it for Dave. So there we sat, I would show Dave some craft or idea for a home made gift and there he was reading the intro to a book from one of his favorite authors. To both our amazement he actually read through a few pages without getting frustrated because he lost what the words were he was looking at or couldn't remember what he had just read - he actually didn't struggle and enjoyed once again one of his favorite pass times-READING! How grateful I am for these two small steps!
Of course I am grateful for family and friends who surround us with love and prayers but for me this week I am grateful for the joy I saw on Dave's face as he read!
Love and Blessings to all this week of Thanksgiving!
Monica
We went out one evening, just the two of us, we drove around town and ended up at one of our favorite places. Went to the bookstore and had some hot cocoa. We looked at some titles that I liked and found myself reading. I would like to think that this is the new medication but I know the true results will not show for a few more months. I just feel a lot better knowing that we may have something that works. I am grateful for everyone around me. I have a wonderful wife that stands next to me and I am so grateful and blessed, knowing she is always here for me. I know we have a long way to go, I am learning more all the time and I am feeling a lot better.
God Bless everyone and will "talk" more later.
Dave
Change, no matter what kind is always scary. When I first realized that I was having problems with remembering things I couldn't believe it! Looking back I realize that I was having problems for a longer time than I want to admit, who wants to believe that it could be more than just random times of forgetfulness. One day Monica told me that she felt that there was something wrong, something more. I did not want to admit even to her what I was afraid my life was going to be like. I had to admit that yes, I was having more than just "forgetfulness", it was time to see a doctor, it was time to find out if my fear was real.
After some simple questions-"Where do you live?", "Who is the president?", "Do you know who your wife is?", it was obvious that there was more to my inability to recall information. Of course the doctor went over my medical history and family history. Both of my parents and some of my aunts & uncles had been diagnosed with dementia. The doctor felt that more test were needed and referred me to a neurologist. On the visit sheet was the diagnoses I feared-"dementia, cause unknown".
My visit to the neurologist was not as scary because I had already started to accept my diagnosis. Not an easy thing to accept. The neurologist performed more test. "Name as many animals that you can in 1 minute" I could only name 4, dog, cat, fish, deer. "Who is the president" couldn't remember. "What city do you live in" couldn't recall. "What year is it" said 2010, the dr said close it is 2011. "Starting with 100 and going backwards subtract 7" all I could do was count by sevens, not what he wanted but that was all I could do even when he gave me the first answer. I had to copy a picture he drew not sure how that went but not bad. Also had to do some strength test, walking, and balance. He ordered an MRI and an EEG. Those are yet to be completed. He also started me on Aricept. It is the most prescribed medication, he stated that it would help minimize the progression and maybe regain some of what I have lost. He also said that they are not sure how it works, but about 50% can benefit from it. After the first week of taking only half the dose as directed I continued to experience side effects that should have gone away. We were directed to discontinue and was given a new prescription-Razadyne. I have been taking it now for 1 1/2 days. We will see how this one goes.
So it starts-changes. One of the hardest changes is how it affects my relationships with my kids, family, and with Monica. Its an awful disease that tries to steal the most important people from my memory. But with Monica we will fight the best that we can, we will fight back. I know that all of my family will be by my side to help me fight and I need them now more than ever. Another difficult change is my driving or lack of ability to drive for fear of forgetting how to get some where so that now falls on Monica. There is a whole shift in responsibilities, changes that are hard to make because I do not want my family to see me differently. Another change is the realization that I may not be able to participate as I want with ministries at church. It is hard when you are a servant to feel that you no longer can serve but need to be served. What a change!
Dave
Hi! I am glad you decided to come by and check out our new little blog. Why? What do we have to say? Well, as some of you know Dave and I are starting a new chapter in our lives, its actually going to be a long journey along a road with potholes, smooth clear paths and bumps.
Lets first start with the name of our blog: For better, For worse Together. These words are part of the vows we made on our wedding day,words that are part of the covenant we made to one another to be by each other together. We have had so many fun, happy, uplifting times but we have also been through some tough times. We have stood side by side through celebrations of marriage, births of grandchildren, graduations, birthdays, baptisms, and various accomplishments of our kids. We have also stood side by side as we felt helpless when kids,grandchildren,my parents, or one of us were ill, or struggling through our relationships with our families and even when struggling with our faith. We have also endured the heartache of losing people we love either through death or simply because they walked away. But, we got through them because we stood side by side together and together we sought comfort in our heavenly father.
Whats this new chapter, this long journey we will be on together? The name of this journey is Dementia. Dementia? Really? Yes. Do I mean Alzheimer's? Right now we don't know. Aren't they one in the same? NO. Dementia is a symptom of a bigger illness. Its like having a broken bone but you have pain first: pain is the symptom of the broken bone. Its like fever being a symptom of an infection. Do you see? Right now Dave is having the symptom of dementia, the cause of which we don't know. We do know what is not causing it, it is not caused by a B12 deficiency, a thyroid problem, or a head injury. Could it be caused by his history of high blood pressure? Possibly. How will we know? We are working on getting an MRI and an EEG. These two test will help the doctor decide the cause. We pray that the cause will be something that could be reversed and Dave will recover what he has already lost. If that is the case this blog will be extremely short as there will not be any need for it! Can we all say "YEAH" and "Praise the Lord". In the mean time we thought this blog would be a good way to communicate with all of you what we are experiencing. We can keep you up to date on all the medical appointments, test and medication changes as they occur. I am not sure how often we will be posting. Some of the post may consist of stories of things we have done or stories of experiences Dave had before we became a family. We are hoping that writing them down and sharing them will be a helpful tool in the future. I will be the author of most of the post but hopefully Dave will get the courage to share some of himself too.
One more thing, I am apologizing from the start that I am not a writer. I am not eloquent with words, or sentence structure. I know this will really bug those teachers and writers out there but not all of us received that gift. I will try my best and I have to say I am soooo thankful for spell check!
Well, this is it for the first post. Those of you who know me know that I could go on and on for a long time, but it is extremely late and I need some rest. Just know that Dave and I love you all and appreciate all the prayers, love and support.
Monica
