Changes

Change, no matter what kind is always scary. When I first realized that I was having problems with remembering things I couldn't believe it! Looking back I realize that I was having problems for a longer time than I want to admit, who wants to believe that it could be more than just random times of forgetfulness. One day Monica told me that she felt that there was something wrong, something more. I did not want to admit even to her what I was afraid my life was going to be like. I had to admit that yes, I was having more than just "forgetfulness", it was time to see a doctor, it was time to find out if my fear was real.

After some simple questions-"Where do you live?", "Who is the president?", "Do you know who your wife is?", it was obvious that there was more to my inability to recall information. Of course the doctor went over my medical history and family history. Both of my parents and some of my aunts & uncles had been diagnosed with dementia. The doctor felt that more test were needed and referred me to a neurologist. On the visit sheet was the diagnoses I feared-"dementia, cause unknown".

My visit to the neurologist was not as scary because I had already started to accept my diagnosis. Not an easy thing to accept. The neurologist performed more test. "Name as many animals that you can in 1 minute" I could only name 4, dog, cat, fish, deer. "Who is the president" couldn't remember. "What city do you live in" couldn't recall. "What year is it" said 2010, the dr said close it is 2011. "Starting with 100 and going backwards subtract 7" all I could do was count by sevens, not what he wanted but that was all I could do even when he gave me the first answer.  I had to copy a picture he drew not sure how that went but not bad. Also had to do some strength test, walking, and balance. He ordered an MRI and an EEG. Those are yet to be completed. He also started me on Aricept. It is the most prescribed medication, he stated that it would help minimize the progression and maybe regain some of what I have lost. He also said that they are not sure how it works, but about 50% can benefit from it. After the first week of taking only half the dose as directed I continued to experience side effects that should have gone away. We were directed to discontinue and was given a new prescription-Razadyne. I have been taking it now for 1 1/2 days. We will see how this one goes. 


So it starts-changes. One of the hardest changes is how it affects my relationships with my kids, family, and with Monica. Its an awful disease that tries to steal the most important people from my memory. But with Monica we will fight the best that we can, we will fight back. I know that all of my family will be by my side to help me fight and I need them now more than ever.  Another difficult change is my driving or lack of ability to drive for fear of forgetting how to get some where so that now falls on Monica. There is a whole shift in responsibilities, changes that are hard to make because I do not want my family to see me differently. Another change is the realization that I may not be able to participate as I want with ministries at church.  It is hard when you are a servant to feel that you no longer can serve but need to be served. What a change!
                                         Dave