Dealing with conversations.

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone.  We traveled to Kansas City so I could spend some time with my family. This was our first holiday without either parent and Dave knew that it would be important for me and my siblings to be together, and I think he knew I could use someone to talk with.

Dave & Anita

We enjoyed our visit with Anita (Dave's sister) when she came into town earlier this month. It was so good for Dave to sit and talk with family.  She gave us the break we needed as we were still in the early stages of comprehending how things will be different. She also gave us some books regarding early stages of Alzheimer's that have been  a HUGE help. I was glad to see how much this visit helped Dave to relax and become more accepting of the changes.  She was great at brain storming thoughts with and on possible things we could do to help ourselves.  These were simple ideas that we didn't think of as we were consumed with the diagnosis-physical activity, diet changes, fresh air etc.. Anita is lively, positive, and a breath of fresh air. She is an advocate for Dave.


Just as I saw how beneficial this visit with Anita was to Dave I think he knew I needed the same from my family. I did spend some time talking with my sister Linda but mostly it was just being around someone who we both could be relaxed around and I knew would take her time with Dave and not rush him to talk or talk "around" him, or be uncomfortable with him. We both needed that so much as we still find it difficult to be in large gatherings. Dave had time to talk one on one with Linda and others during Thanksgiving and it appeared to me that he did well with his thought process.  He was able to complete his sentences and follow through on his responses to others. One thing I did miss was his quick wit when there was friendly teasing.  Being quick witted is no longer part of him as he needs the time to think of the words. I was concerned how people would be with Dave. Everyone in the family knows about his diagnosis but the very nature of people when around someone who is "ill" or "disabled" or just different they have the tendency to be afraid or ignore the "ill" person. Our hope though through this blog is to put everyone at ease but also to remind you that Dave is still a person who is alert and aware and should not be dismissed. Talk with him, laugh with him, listen to him but just take your time and please give him the time to finish his thoughts and he can finish the conversation.


Our Thanksgiving was filled with tears, laughter and lots of one on one conversation. All done with love!

Monica

The trip to Kansas City is something we all needed. It was good for all of us, getting together with family and a change of scenery. It was good for me to get around other people, it helped me with my thought processes. I feel that I was able to slow down on my thinking and learn to form my words. I believe I am learning how to speak easier, sometimes I tend to lose my thoughts and I try to give myself a few seconds to form what I am trying to say.  Sometimes I lose my thought all together, just give me a few seconds and if I can't find the words at that moment, I will say "Give me a bit and I will tell you later."  Just give me time, it does come back. I used to feel embarrassed with my new way of speaking, any more that is how it will be. I am learning to accept it and work around it, I just ask that you not be embarrassed for me or too embarrassed or awkward to talk with me.


I like reading your comments, we just haven't figured out how to respond but know that we read them all and appreciate them.  We like to hear from others how you are doing, and prayer request. Prayer is one thing I know I can do as God understands what is in my heart even if I can't verbalize it.

Dave