a birthday celebration

Wednesday, November 7th, was Dave's 60th birthday!   To help him celebrate my sister-in-laws came into town! Dave was very excited about having all his sisters here at the same time, we had not seen them all together since our wedding-12 yrs ago! (They have gotten together plenty of times we just had not been able to join them in the past.)

I was not sure how this get together was going to affect Dave. My goal was to try and maintain the routine that has been established but Dave's goal was to spend as much time as possible with his sisters. I think they were wanting a little bit of both,plenty of time to be with Dave but give him the time to rest.  It was a hard balance. There was some prepping prior to their arrival, like reminding him what their names were. Thankfully I had pictures so the day before they arrived we looked at them and I told him the names of each of his sisters, just to remind him so he wouldn't feel discouraged about his memory while they were visiting. Monday and Tuesday went well. Dave was able to hold conversations without too much trouble but by Wednesday he was having problems coming up with some words and very often was saying "I'll remember soon." or "Give me a minute". 

Maybe the mistake I made was putting on the music he enjoyed so much growing up.  During the morning I played some Crosby, Still, Nash and Young and The Mamma's and the Papa's. Dave was okay at first then Puff the Magic Dragon started and Dave started crying! I felt so horrible! The whole idea of playing his favorite music was to bring back fun happy memories not make him cry. He said he was just feeling sorry for himself because all he could do was think of how the future will be, that this was probably his last big birthday he would be aware of and remember. Well, after that the music was turned off and we left the house for lunch and then met his sister's at Small Cakes to pick out the cupcakes for his party!

dave & kim

As part of the decorations I put up pictures of Dave from the time he was a baby to elementary school time. It was really cute, sorry didn't think of taking a picture. Dave's sisters cooked dinner and cleaned up! It was so nice to have someone else take over! We had fun with some wooden mustache props, all us females posed with the wooden mustaches and Dave posed with a pirate patch or pink lips.

pam & dave

anita

roberta

a sticky mustache unibrow!

It was too funny! Kim had even bought some stick on type of mustaches for Autumn to use when they came but I think the grownups had more fun with them!   




As part of the celebration and gifts I had requested written memories with pictures if possible. These would be used later as a tool to spark a memory for Dave. Kim wrote about a time they went camping and Dave's nephews told him they saw a rattle snake, Dave said they didn't live so high up in that area and wanted them to prove they saw one. His nephews went back and killed the snake and brought it to Dave! There were pictures to go along with this memory. I loved it! I loved it even more because it did spark a memory in Dave and he was able to fill in the story and have a laugh! I am putting together a notebook that I learned about that consist of memories and pictures...not exactly a scrapbook because you only place one picture on the page and the opposite page contains the written memory. Gabriella's memory was about Dave pulling her teeth out when they were just dangling. She hated this ordeal at first but then she hated the feeling of a dangling tooth more and would ask Dave to pull the tooth! Believe it or not I don't have a picture of him pulling a tooth but I do have a picture of Gabriella with missing teeth! This will go in the notebook too.

Dave loved that his sisters were here and of course disappointed when it was time for them to leave. The after effect of the celebration? Dave had some let down the next couple of days. He did A LOT of sleeping-sleeping 12 hours during the night then napping off and on during the day. He lacked energy to do simple things - depression from his sisters leaving or just plain tired, I think some of both.  I didn't realize that Alzheimer's made the most simplest occasions so tiring. We had some errands to run the days after and Dave would come along but was really slow. I noticed he had his "Herman Munster" walk back and he stated he felt like he was not able to lift his feet right to walk. He also informed me that he thinks he is losing his taste. I know that we have a morning discussion just about everyday about the coffee-i think it is terribly strong and Dave will say he can't taste the coffee itself just the sweet taste of the sugar he puts in it. Concerned that he is using too much sugar in his coffee we made a change from just a sugar bowl to small packets now he says the coffee is not sweet enough but he still cannot taste the coffee itself. He says this is not the first time this has occurred to him.

Well, I really meant for this post to be just about Dave's birthday but some of this other stuff kinda goes along with it. Despite how devestating this disease is there is still some fun, good times to be had (just make plans and be prepared for the aftermath).

Roberta, Anita, Dave, Kim, Pam





Monica

The first day of a new job.

Do you remember that feeling you get the first day of a new job? There is always some excitement mixed with anxiety. Sometimes you might question your decision about accepting the job. Despite the experience you know you have you wonder can I really do the job?  What if I do something wrong or the ideas I have don't pan out? What if, what if, what if......!

Well, I haven't started a new job, at least not in the traditional way. I didn't apply, or have interviews. I didn't have to sit by the phone hoping to hear good news. But I can tell you that every single day feels like the first day of a new job. No two days are ever the same. One day Dave has no problem carrying on a conversation, his recall is good and he can carry through a task without hesitation. The very next day it could be the complete opposite, (actually it can all happen in the same day)!  Maybe he can complete a task without problems but unable to complete a sentence because he can't think of the words.  Then there are the days when he is unable to complete a task, can't finish a whole sentence and will even get turned around in our little house.  There are also days when he has no interest in anything and it can be difficult to coax him into doing an activity. I am never sure what to do on some of those days. Every single day is different and every single day feels like the first day of a new job. What works on one day doesn't work on another day.

What I hate the most about this "new job" is that for Dave I am sure the feeling is multiplied to a degree I will never know. Right now this past week I have noticed that Dave is having more and more difficulty with his words...he can't remember the words and so he only completes half a sentence. He is needing more coaxing to participate in functions that he did before, painting at Spiva and the Memory Buffet (social group for dementia patients through the Alz. Assoc).  He has even lost the interest in painting (pictures) at home and working in the yard. His sleeping pattern has really changed, he had always been an early riser, even after his diagnosis he was still getting up early, now he sleeps in until 9:30 or 10:00 no matter what time he goes to bed.  Our mornings are really slow and I have only about 2-3 hours of afternoon time that he is feeling clear and we can get "chores" done or errands ran.  He also takes afternoon naps, something he never did. Physically you can see that he has lost weight.

In regards to his weight, it is a concern that will be brought up to the Dr in December. He has gone from 150ish to 140 lbs. It is not just the numbers that are concerning but the way his cloths fit. No longer does he fill them "out" but some of his shirts now just hang on him and his jeans, he pulls his belt so tight to keep them up that they bunch in the back. I was going to buy him a new pair of jeans the other day when we were at Target but he refused. I am sure he is having difficulty seeing how much his own body is changing, its just a reminder of what is going on.  Dave will eat 3 main meals everyday but some days he will snack a lot. Coming up with some healthy snacks that he will eat has been a trial and error.  Right now he has been snacking on nuts, seasonal fruit, pudding, apple sauce, and I try to keep hard boiled eggs in the refrigerator. If he doesn't eat them we make tuna salad. I can't get him to completely break his cereal habit in the morning but I can convince him some days to eat some oatmeal or eggs.  Some of these changes I knew to expect I just wasn't expecting them so quickly.  I was concerned that maybe there was a problem with his blood sugar but from past lab work everything was normal, even the doctor indicated that his blood work was "perfect".

Like any good employee who desires to learn about their job I am researching,attending "trainings", making connections with agencies and even with other caregivers through social networking. I am  trying to keep one step ahead of this disease as best I can to help Dave stay as independent as long as he can.  One of the things I am striving for is to learn to live in the moment more often. We still share fun times and laughs so I am trying to relish those moments. This week, I hope will be filled with lots of fun for this is Dave's birthday week and ALL of his sisters are coming to town to celebrate!! Looking forward to fun, laughs and of course birthday cake!!!

Monica

October 7th

October is over. The highlight of the month is October 7th, our anniversary! This year was our 12th wedding anniversary.  Wow! I mean WOW! I am not even sure of what that means. I guess it depends on what I want to concetrate on.  It has been a crazy 12 years. When I look back at our wedding pictures I know we had no clue what kind of journey our life would be like together.  There are sooo many good times and of course there were not so many fun good times, but I am glad that we're going through all of them together. I know you all are probably tired of hearing me say how much I feel that Dave was a blessing to me but he is a blessing! Yes, I know he has Alzheimer's and many of you have listened to or read my melt downs but I have them because I love him so.  But! any who this post is not about that it is about that day our lives began together! ( I know so hokey mushy!)

 

 

I remember that day....excitement mixed with nervousness! I knew from the very first date that Dave was the one! I can't even say exactly what it was! He was such a kind, laid back kind of person, the total opposite of me! I admired the man he was, he was respected at work because no matter what his job was he did it with such integrity you had to respect him.  He is exactly the same way today! If I was to just meet him now I would have the exact same feelings...this is a man I will love forever! The added bonus is that he is a man of God! Well, I will quit with all that because this was to be a short post filled with pictures. I need to apologize now for the pictures. I am working on a laptop now and had no way of scanning the pictures so they are going to be pictures of pictures. 

 











Mr and Mrs Thomas! So happy!!


 





The Thomas men. So very handsome!





 

Our family (minus one bridesmaid who is an old friend)



This is my favorite picture of Dave.  It is from our honeymoon. We had rented a cabin at a small lake and we went canoeing (not sure if that is spelled correctly but spell check didn't catch it so I guess its okay). I was sitting in the front of the canoe and at one point I stopped paddling, turned around and quickly snapped this picture. Of course here you can't catch the feeling but it was a beautiful and cool day....perfect!

 

 

Monica