a birthday celebration

Wednesday, November 7th, was Dave's 60th birthday!   To help him celebrate my sister-in-laws came into town! Dave was very excited about having all his sisters here at the same time, we had not seen them all together since our wedding-12 yrs ago! (They have gotten together plenty of times we just had not been able to join them in the past.)

I was not sure how this get together was going to affect Dave. My goal was to try and maintain the routine that has been established but Dave's goal was to spend as much time as possible with his sisters. I think they were wanting a little bit of both,plenty of time to be with Dave but give him the time to rest.  It was a hard balance. There was some prepping prior to their arrival, like reminding him what their names were. Thankfully I had pictures so the day before they arrived we looked at them and I told him the names of each of his sisters, just to remind him so he wouldn't feel discouraged about his memory while they were visiting. Monday and Tuesday went well. Dave was able to hold conversations without too much trouble but by Wednesday he was having problems coming up with some words and very often was saying "I'll remember soon." or "Give me a minute". 

Maybe the mistake I made was putting on the music he enjoyed so much growing up.  During the morning I played some Crosby, Still, Nash and Young and The Mamma's and the Papa's. Dave was okay at first then Puff the Magic Dragon started and Dave started crying! I felt so horrible! The whole idea of playing his favorite music was to bring back fun happy memories not make him cry. He said he was just feeling sorry for himself because all he could do was think of how the future will be, that this was probably his last big birthday he would be aware of and remember. Well, after that the music was turned off and we left the house for lunch and then met his sister's at Small Cakes to pick out the cupcakes for his party!

dave & kim

As part of the decorations I put up pictures of Dave from the time he was a baby to elementary school time. It was really cute, sorry didn't think of taking a picture. Dave's sisters cooked dinner and cleaned up! It was so nice to have someone else take over! We had fun with some wooden mustache props, all us females posed with the wooden mustaches and Dave posed with a pirate patch or pink lips.

pam & dave

anita

roberta

a sticky mustache unibrow!

It was too funny! Kim had even bought some stick on type of mustaches for Autumn to use when they came but I think the grownups had more fun with them!   




As part of the celebration and gifts I had requested written memories with pictures if possible. These would be used later as a tool to spark a memory for Dave. Kim wrote about a time they went camping and Dave's nephews told him they saw a rattle snake, Dave said they didn't live so high up in that area and wanted them to prove they saw one. His nephews went back and killed the snake and brought it to Dave! There were pictures to go along with this memory. I loved it! I loved it even more because it did spark a memory in Dave and he was able to fill in the story and have a laugh! I am putting together a notebook that I learned about that consist of memories and pictures...not exactly a scrapbook because you only place one picture on the page and the opposite page contains the written memory. Gabriella's memory was about Dave pulling her teeth out when they were just dangling. She hated this ordeal at first but then she hated the feeling of a dangling tooth more and would ask Dave to pull the tooth! Believe it or not I don't have a picture of him pulling a tooth but I do have a picture of Gabriella with missing teeth! This will go in the notebook too.

Dave loved that his sisters were here and of course disappointed when it was time for them to leave. The after effect of the celebration? Dave had some let down the next couple of days. He did A LOT of sleeping-sleeping 12 hours during the night then napping off and on during the day. He lacked energy to do simple things - depression from his sisters leaving or just plain tired, I think some of both.  I didn't realize that Alzheimer's made the most simplest occasions so tiring. We had some errands to run the days after and Dave would come along but was really slow. I noticed he had his "Herman Munster" walk back and he stated he felt like he was not able to lift his feet right to walk. He also informed me that he thinks he is losing his taste. I know that we have a morning discussion just about everyday about the coffee-i think it is terribly strong and Dave will say he can't taste the coffee itself just the sweet taste of the sugar he puts in it. Concerned that he is using too much sugar in his coffee we made a change from just a sugar bowl to small packets now he says the coffee is not sweet enough but he still cannot taste the coffee itself. He says this is not the first time this has occurred to him.

Well, I really meant for this post to be just about Dave's birthday but some of this other stuff kinda goes along with it. Despite how devestating this disease is there is still some fun, good times to be had (just make plans and be prepared for the aftermath).

Roberta, Anita, Dave, Kim, Pam





Monica