I wasn't sure what to expect and with the meeting only being an hour long couldn't imagine much would be accomplished. I am not ashamed to admit that I have been in support groups before at various stages in my life and have worked in agencies that even conducted these groups so I feel that I have some knowledge of what goes on. For some reason attending this group was something I didn't look forward to and was actually a little afraid. I know it has been a few days since the meeting but it has taken me a while to process my feelings.
The group is led by the social worker of the Senior Serenity wing of the hospital which is just a nice way to say the Alzheimer's unit and by the activities director from the same department and the Stephens Unit, which is the psychiatric unit for adults and teens. The group is very small about 8-10 people. Information was given about activities that would be beneficial for the dementia patient and there was time for questions and answers. Looking at this list and listening to concerns from others was kinda depressing. The activities were things that you would give a child to do to occupy their time and make them feel more constructive to household running, you know things like, allow them to set the table and acknowledge how well they did, sort buttons, stamp envelopes, shine shoes, and other activities. There are some things that Dave continues to do like cook and laundry and he is the green thumb of the family so he takes care of the house plants, these are also activities that were listed but why, when reading this list could I only imagine a frail mindless person? The person I am with everyday is no where close to what this conjured up in my mind. I was also bombarded with questions, which I know is normal since I was obviously the new person in the group and was responded to with "Oh" and "Aw" when I informed them of Dave's age and then patted on the shoulder. I am usually not an active participant at the start of anything, I usually wait a time or two to decide if its safe to be verbal and told myself that I would not cry. Well all that went out the window after I realized time was running out and I had not learned what I wanted. So very quickly I started talking and asked a couple of questions and did get some answers.
Will I go back? Probably. They do have speakers lined up that I am interested in listening to and learning from. Was it what I expected? Not on this first meeting. I did learn that it is only an hour long because not everyone has a caregiver to depend on for longer than the hour plus travel time. Something I haven't thought about even after being asked if I could leave Dave alone and not be worried that he would wander off. Depressing? Yes, it was for me. I guess part of me is still in denial even though everyday I see little things that Dave is forgetting, nothing big just things that only as his wife I can see. I also learned that from research it is estimated that an Alzheimer's patient is given an 8-10 year life span from their first symptoms. When were Dave's? I have no clue but I am going from the time of diagnosis. ( There is that denial again.)
Anyway I want to end on a good note, so did you see the pictures on the last post? We finally got Dave a little spot in the alcove where he can paint. The puzzles he will have to do on the dining room table. We have this green felt piece that you roll your puzzles up in so you don't lose pieces or have to dismantle what you have put together, that way we can still eat dinner at the table. Dave said that after spending time painting he felt really good! It got his brain working again and he was happy!! YAY!!
Monica
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