Dave has now progressed to having the hallucinations. These are not what most people would consider "bad" hallucinations but enough to cause slight fear and confusion. Dave had described them to be more like "shadows", a quick "flitter" of a shadow that makes him take a look but realize that nothing is there. At first he wasn't even sure if it was happening, a few times he thought it was just the cat walking across the floor but then realized that the cat was in the back room or in the garage or sleeping curled up on the couch. I am not sure how long he has been having them because he didn't tell me about them until we happened to see something on tv about dementia and as usual our conversation turned to what he was experiencing.
He has also been experiencing some muscle problems. I have noticed for awhile that his gait had become slower and stiff. I am not even sure other people notice the difference in his walking. I wasn't even sure I was actually seeing what I was seeing. Do you know what I mean? You know you think you are seeing something that isn't right but then you wonder if you are just imagining it or thinking the worst when its really just something minor. I finally asked him if he felt "different" when he walked. He said "my muscle's feel like someone has a tight grip on them while I am trying to walk" and "sometimes I feel like I am not sure I am walking right, like I have forgotten how to walk". I asked him if it gets better when we go on walks, do his legs begin to relax and move better. He said "no". He has difficulty concentrating on his walking when in a crowd. He has the inability to do more than one thing at a time. His tremors are more pronounced on occasion and sometimes even if you can't see his tremors, when I hold his hand or hug him I can feel his body tremor.
We are now sleeping with a night light on in the bedroom as he says that for an instant when the light goes out and it is dark he gets fearful. It takes him a moment to remember where he is at then when he remembers he can fall asleep.
Last Thursday we went to the doctors. I really like our neurologist. I feel he is educated and informative in regards to Alzheimer's and always tries to be positive with us. I like that he takes his time with us, address Dave directly, and is assuring in his explanations. He gave Dave two choices, (after many questions and examining him) one-take a calcium supplement 1x/day or two-take a very small dose of a muscle relaxant. Dave immediately said "I'll take the supplement." The doctor said "Very good." but did say if he did not feel any difference in his muscles after a few weeks to call and he will need to be on the relaxant. The positive things he said: "Your communication is much better." and "See it is just a minor problem, easily taken care of." You know he is probably right but to us, especially for Dave, it feels like a HUGE deal. Its huge because we know there is no turning back, the progression is starting again and we know nothing can truly stop it.
Dave has quit attending church. The people and noise seem chaotic to him. He doesn't know where to look and can't concentrate on the lesson. For now Gabriella and I continue to attend and like Dave says, "I sleep the entire time you are gone anyway." (He sleeps more now and gets up later than he used to.) It worries me when I leave him alone but not because I fear that he will wonder off but I fear that he will forget where we are and become scared or that he will do something and get hurt or that he will take the wrong set of pills. That is how I felt for sure last Sunday and when service was over I was out of there as quick as I could get out. And sure enough, Dave was already up and showered then told me he had taken the wrong pills, (his pills are in one of those am/pm pill containers) but the good thing was, as soon as he put them in his mouth he knew it wasn't right so he spit them out and threw them away! So now the plan is to put away the container and I will only leave out the morning pills so no more worries.
Once again our house is in a state of transition. I thought I had thought through enough of what could be happening and had prepared and organized that I wouldn't have to do much more but I was wrong. I am learning that each time I see Dave having difficulties it will require some new way of doing things. You have to think outside of the box on occasion. Eventually our house will be down to bare minimum in furniture as it will become harder for Dave to maneuver around. Whatever needs to be done to keep him around, safe and happy I will do. I hear being a minimalist can be very freeing!!
Monica
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