Lessons learned and another new wedding ring.

One of the "normal routine" task that Dave has continued to do is making us coffee in the morning and in the evening.  No matter how much earlier I get up than him and even if I am fully capable of making coffee myself I never do.  It is the one thing that Dave feels he can still do for me as my husband and so as long as he doesn't do anything to hurt himself or cause a fire he will continue to make coffee.  Most of the time it is so strong that my cup is only filled half way then I add water to make it more palatable for me and Dave just adds his usual sugar.  So far things have been going pretty well, there were a few times when he may have forgotten to put the coffee filter in the basket and we had coffee all over the place and of course he has forgotten to put the carafe in and once again coffee went all over.  These really are not a big deal, it doesn't take much to wipe up coffee and then make another pot but one day Dave had decided that he wanted more coffee after we had turned the pot off so it had to be reheated in the microwave.  Not a big deal, its something he has done before but I didn't realize the degree of his confusion and instead of pouring the coffee in his mug he put the whole carafe in the microwave!

OH MY GOSH! God was truly watching over us that day! I am so thankful that Dave doesn't ever put anything in the microwave longer than a minute or else we would have had a fire or something more disastrous! I am so thankful that he was not hurt!! I have to say that that is the first time I was really fearful of Dave using an appliance! He has not used the stove or washer since we purchased new ones as they do not look anything like our old ones to him and he is confused when he looks at them-probably another blessing in disguise! So lesson learned-if the coffee pot has been turned off and Dave is wanting more I try to be in the kitchen to make sure he pours his coffee in his mug first!

During the holiday time there was stuff in the back room that needed to be put in the shed. Of course Dave said he would go and put it away because it was cold and he didn't want Gabriella or I going out. I know it only takes a few seconds to unlock the shed and put whatever it was away and come back. Well I felt Dave was taking way too long and since I was in the middle of something I told Gabriella to take a look out the window to check on him.  She said he was fine and she could see him coming out of the shed. Well once again I kept thinking it was taking him a long time so I opened the door to check on him, the shed was locked up and he was walking toward the house then turned around to go back to the shed, when I called out to him he started back to the house and headed for the basement door and when I questioned him he said he needed to check the water in the basement. I had to inform him that it has not rained in a really long time and there would be no water and had him come back into the house.  After sitting on the couch awhile he said, "I think I forgot why I was outside." I said "I think you did too!"  So second lesson learned....go out with Dave when has to go to the shed or the basement. I have also requested he no longer take the trash to the curb on trash day after it has become dark...he has to take it out early. (Taking the trash is the other household task he continues to do to contribute to the care of the house along with doing the dishes since I do the cooking!)

Well, after reading what I just wrote it sounds as if I just let Dave go off on his own all the time but it has only been a little over a year since his diagnosis and I would not have thought that this soon I would have to be watching him so close. As I have said in past post some days he has such clarity that his offer to take something to the shed or reheat his own coffee never triggered a warning to me.  I have said that I want him to continue to be as independent for as long as possible and he still will be I will just need to monitor more closely without doing the task for him.  Even though it has been obvious that Dave is losing more of his words I have felt that he was at a "plateau" so to speak but the past couple of weeks has just shown me that I was wrong and this terrible disease just keeps on marching and that I need to stay on "my toes". 

I know that in one of my past post I have mentioned that Dave has lost A LOT of weight. It may not be noticeable to some but today we went shopping for another new "wedding" band.  This makes the third ring we have bought for him. The first ring he lost shortly after we were married, it is probable in the warehouse he worked at. The second ring he lost in the yard so he said we were not going to replace it with another "real wedding band" so we found one at Romancing the Stone he liked.  On New Years Eve his band fell right off his finger! I mean he was moving his hand and it just fell off!! He said his ring has been very loose for awhile now and that was not the first time it fell off so today we went out and purchased a new one. I had no problem with him not wearing one...I mean I know we are married and everyone we know knows we're married but it really bothered him to not have a ring on his finger! So off to Romancing the Stone again to buy another ring! He decided that it was not the amount of money it cost but what it means so he didn't care where we bought it...so now he has another ring.  Hopefully this one will last a really long time!

The end of 2012 and the start of 2013 have been very interesting and I hope any lessons I need to learn will not be because something scary happened!

Monica