Tuesday, July 15, 2014

a journey's end

july 7, 2014 at 12:18 am dave's journey came to a quiet end. many tears were shed even with the knowledge that he was no longer suffering. i was told that he wasn't experiencing death, he was experiencing new life! (only those of us left behind experienced the death.)

at dave's memorial service you heard of the christ follower and servant in him. today i want to talk about other parts of dave.

 he loved kids! actually i think he just loved people as he never knew a stranger and always believed in the goodness in people. everyone knew how laid back he was and that was reflected in how he supervised the people under him when he was the head building engineer for the school district and how he interacted with fellow staff while he worked in the warehouse. he always said if you direct them kindly they are more apt to complete their work more willingly but if he had to raise his voice it had more impact (people were shocked if he was loud). he was the same when it came to the kids. he never judged them but would lovingly and kindly try to guide them and advise them. (the complete opposite of me, i loved my kids but was a bit louder at it than dave.) and when relationships or adventures they tried didn't work out he never said "i told you so." instead he just accepted it and tried to help them on to the next step.

his kindness and gentleness earned him respect from everyone he met. he was an encourager and would be your cheerleader when you took a step toward your dream or made a change in your life. he had the ability to make you believe in yourself as he cheered you on and even when you failed he was there to pick you up and cheer you on to the next thing. he gave you confidence. 

he loved the outdoors. he was a hunter, fisherman, camper and loved hiking. he talked about places he had been like colorado and arizona. he deep sea fished when he lived in california and fished for trout here in missouri. he taught his sons how to fish and hunt and loved sharing those times with them when he could when they became adults. he taught gabriella how to fish and when we would all go to roaring river to fish he spent more time taking the fish off the hook than fishing himself but he said he didn't mind because he loved seeing her enjoying herself.  when i would go back to camp to cook breakfast dave would stay and fish and would bring back so many with a huge smile! he loved outdoors and loved sharing it starting with his sons at a young age and continued with anyone who was willing. 

playing games at matt's

he loved family gatherings. he loved it when the kids came over for a barbeque or weekend dinner. he loved how all the sounds filled the house with laughter. his favorite part was afterwards when we would play games! our two favorite were taboo and uno although we did play battle of the sexes once which all the guys said was rigged so the women always won. ha! scrabble was another favorite and he always killed at that game! everyone's goal was to beat him but that was rare! he loved challenges.

life wasn't always fun. he would hurt with me when my relationships with my kids or family was rocky. there was a hurt in his heart that he felt would never heal and that was his relationship with his own sons.  he loved them dearly and prayed every single day for them and for himself in regards to relationships. for whatever reason he never felt that things were ever right, maybe too much baggage or interference. i don't know but i tried at my end but knew when i pushed too hard because he would grow silent and shed so many tears. i am not sure if people realized how deeply dave felt hurt and pain. he was so good at never revealing his true inner being to others except me. what an honor that was to know how much he loved and trusted me and i was the same with him. the writing of this blog is the closest either one of us has come to revealing who we are to people outside of each other. i know we have exposed a piece of ourselves here and there with certain people but the deep stuff was reserved for each other only.

his love for the kids was multiplied when grandkids came into the picture! there was nothing better for him than to hear "paw paw!".  the most boastful he ever was was when he would talk about his grandkids. he would beam when seeley came over  and would take his hand and say "mere paw paw"! he loved all the hugs and kisses.

4th of july in kansas city.
 dave loved the fourth of july! he was like a kid at christmas when it came to buying fireworks and loved setting them off. i remember one of the first fourth of julys we spent together with the boys, they set off so many fireworks there was a huge pile of firework debris in the street and smoky!

dave was an artist. he loved painting and while participating in one of the alzheimer's programs made some bowls out of clay. he never felt that he was "good" at painting in the traditional fashion but he loved it and even sold a couple of his paintings through the alzheimer's assoc..


dave loved life! even in his final weeks he gave joy to others. he recognized us and freely gave hugs and kisses and even joked and smiled! he held on so long. my heart aches like never before and i can't hardly imagine what will be next.

                                        i love him so much and miss holding hands.


No comments:

Post a Comment