The first day of a new job.

Do you remember that feeling you get the first day of a new job? There is always some excitement mixed with anxiety. Sometimes you might question your decision about accepting the job. Despite the experience you know you have you wonder can I really do the job?  What if I do something wrong or the ideas I have don't pan out? What if, what if, what if......!

Well, I haven't started a new job, at least not in the traditional way. I didn't apply, or have interviews. I didn't have to sit by the phone hoping to hear good news. But I can tell you that every single day feels like the first day of a new job. No two days are ever the same. One day Dave has no problem carrying on a conversation, his recall is good and he can carry through a task without hesitation. The very next day it could be the complete opposite, (actually it can all happen in the same day)!  Maybe he can complete a task without problems but unable to complete a sentence because he can't think of the words.  Then there are the days when he is unable to complete a task, can't finish a whole sentence and will even get turned around in our little house.  There are also days when he has no interest in anything and it can be difficult to coax him into doing an activity. I am never sure what to do on some of those days. Every single day is different and every single day feels like the first day of a new job. What works on one day doesn't work on another day.

What I hate the most about this "new job" is that for Dave I am sure the feeling is multiplied to a degree I will never know. Right now this past week I have noticed that Dave is having more and more difficulty with his words...he can't remember the words and so he only completes half a sentence. He is needing more coaxing to participate in functions that he did before, painting at Spiva and the Memory Buffet (social group for dementia patients through the Alz. Assoc).  He has even lost the interest in painting (pictures) at home and working in the yard. His sleeping pattern has really changed, he had always been an early riser, even after his diagnosis he was still getting up early, now he sleeps in until 9:30 or 10:00 no matter what time he goes to bed.  Our mornings are really slow and I have only about 2-3 hours of afternoon time that he is feeling clear and we can get "chores" done or errands ran.  He also takes afternoon naps, something he never did. Physically you can see that he has lost weight.

In regards to his weight, it is a concern that will be brought up to the Dr in December. He has gone from 150ish to 140 lbs. It is not just the numbers that are concerning but the way his cloths fit. No longer does he fill them "out" but some of his shirts now just hang on him and his jeans, he pulls his belt so tight to keep them up that they bunch in the back. I was going to buy him a new pair of jeans the other day when we were at Target but he refused. I am sure he is having difficulty seeing how much his own body is changing, its just a reminder of what is going on.  Dave will eat 3 main meals everyday but some days he will snack a lot. Coming up with some healthy snacks that he will eat has been a trial and error.  Right now he has been snacking on nuts, seasonal fruit, pudding, apple sauce, and I try to keep hard boiled eggs in the refrigerator. If he doesn't eat them we make tuna salad. I can't get him to completely break his cereal habit in the morning but I can convince him some days to eat some oatmeal or eggs.  Some of these changes I knew to expect I just wasn't expecting them so quickly.  I was concerned that maybe there was a problem with his blood sugar but from past lab work everything was normal, even the doctor indicated that his blood work was "perfect".

Like any good employee who desires to learn about their job I am researching,attending "trainings", making connections with agencies and even with other caregivers through social networking. I am  trying to keep one step ahead of this disease as best I can to help Dave stay as independent as long as he can.  One of the things I am striving for is to learn to live in the moment more often. We still share fun times and laughs so I am trying to relish those moments. This week, I hope will be filled with lots of fun for this is Dave's birthday week and ALL of his sisters are coming to town to celebrate!! Looking forward to fun, laughs and of course birthday cake!!!

Monica